For some reason, Shannon Elizabeth decided to become a poker player or something instead of a Playboy model after those American Pie movies, which means I haven’t seen her in years. But here she is at some event called “Make Equality Reality” looking pretty good for a chick whose 15 minutes are pretty much up. Anyway, I have no clue what this organization does, but if they’re really interested in equality, they should hook me up with a date with Shannon. It’s only fair, right? I don’t even care that she’s not famous anymore, every hottie should get a chance to spend a night with the Tuna.