Leave all the stupid gossip about her ex and that teenage lesbian getting into a slap fight for the other blogs, because it’s about time the rest of us get back to focusing on what’s really important when it comes to Miranda Kerr: her pants-meltingly hot photoshoots. So here’s her latest, and if you want to get into a fight with anyone, do it with the lucky bastard here who just got paid to live out every dude’s biggest fantasy. Now that’s something actually worth getting jealous about.
CELEBRITIES > Miranda Kerr
Apparently the gossip blog world is going nuts today with news that Orlando Bloom and that teenage lesbian Justin Bieber were “fighting” over Miranda Kerr in Spain. There might have even been a punch thrown. Stop the presses. Anyway, after seeing these pictures of how good she was looking, I can’t really blame them. But forget both those losers. What Miranda really needs is just a nice, quiet, normal guy to help her get out of the spotlight for a while. And I think I’d be perfect. I mean, I barely leave the couch. Hm, that sounded better in my head.
I didn’t think Miranda Kerr could get any more perfect after those pictures we saw of her out in New York yesterday, but this is one time I’m definitely glad to be proven wrong. Because here’s Miranda just leaving her building and still drawing a crowd, and I don’t blame them. I could stand around and watch this woman do pretty much anything. Although if I could choose, it’d probably involve bending over to tie her shoes or doing jumping jacks. Hmm, I wonder if Miranda takes requests.
I know it’s not exactly a brand-new lingerie photoshoot, but like any good supermodel, Miranda Kerr is so hot, she can show up in pretty much anything and still give me a serious pants fire. So here she is just going for a walk in New York and making me weak in the knees. I still don’t get how or why Victoria’s Secret dropped her, but hopefully some enterprising lingerie company will hire her soon and she can get back to melting our collective pants regions again. I’d do it myself, but for some reason, A-list supermodels are sketched out by companies run out of basements. Go figure.
Miranda Kerr is one of those models that’s hot enough to cause a serious pants fire no matter what she’s wearing, but I think this most recent shoot she did for Elle Spain might just be one of her hottest ones to date. Because even though Miranda would still look smoking hot in a garbage bag, I think I speak for all of us when I say we obviously prefer to see her in a bikini or better yet, wearing my all-time favorite outfit: a handbra. So enjoy these, while I go grab an ice pack out of the freezer to help cool me down.
I have no clue what The Edit Magazine is, but I know that Miranda Kerr did a crazy-hot spread for their latest issue, and that’s more than good enough for me. So all I want to know now is where I sign up to subscribe, and whether or not it’s possible to just get sent 12 months of nothing but this issue on repeat. Because damn! Enjoy everybody.
Turns out I may have been a little premature in calling Irina Shayk‘s Agent Provocateur video the best commercial ever last week. Because it looks like it’s got some serious competition for that title now thanks to this ad Miranda Kerr just did for Reebok. Remind me again why Victoria’s Secret fired this chick? Oh right, because they’re nuts. Anyway, go ahead and watch the commercial below and enjoy. Then feel free to rinse and repeat as many times as needed.
I know that most of you are probably still waking up from your turkey hangover right now, but trust me, one look at these pictures of Miranda Kerr wearing a seriously skimpy bra for I-D and you’ll be ready to go. And by that I mean, ready to go lock yourself in your aunt’s bathroom for long enough that the entire family starts wondering if you’re okay. Anyway, I don’t know if this bra is some kind of Black Friday half-off special or what, but it definitely gets the Tuna stamp of approval. Fingers crossed, but I think we could be witnessing the future of lingerie right now. Enjoy.
I don’t normally pay attention to celebrity gossip, because I’m usually too busy napping on the couch, or doing literally anything else, but I’m pretty sure I heard that Miranda Kerr‘s officially a free agent again. Which means now there’s no excuse for why we can’t be together. You know, other than the fact that she doesn’t know who I am, and probably doesn’t date bloggers who live in their mom’s basement. Still, I’m gonna focus on the positives here, and take this cover shoot for Self Magazine for what it is: a sign that maybe she’s lowered her standards. So you guys enjoy the pictures, while I go tell my mom she’s got to move out.
I’m sure Victoria’s Secret knows what a huge mistake they made in dropping Miranda Kerr, but just in case they’re still in denial, these pictures of the always amazing model at the Romeo & Juliet afterparty ought to do the trick. And it’s fitting that she went to see Romeo & Juliet too, because that story always makes me think of me and Miranda. Two young lovers that can’t be together, because I’m a blogger and she’s a famous model, and more importantly, because she’s completely unaware of my existence. Pretty romantic stuff, right?
Miranda Kerr‘s one of those models that I love no matter what she’s wearing, she could do a photoshoot on top of a pile of garbage and I’d still need to change into a new pair of sweatpants afterwards. But this one of her posing as Italian porn star-turned-politician Ilona Staller aka Cicciolina for V Magazine might be one of her best. I just wish she’d taken this tribute all the way and released a sex tape to go along with it. It’s not too late though. I’ll be on call 24/7 in case Miranda changes her mind.
I don’t know what Victoria’s Secret was smoking when they decided to drop Miranda Kerr, but I bet they’re kicking themselves now looking at these pictures of Miranda rocking short shorts like the super-hottie she is. Either that or they’re just doing the same thing as the rest of us. And it’s definitely not kicking ourselves, though I guess it still qualifies as a form of self-abuse. So enjoy, but go easy, fellas.
In case you guys forgot to pick up your copy of the Vogue Korea July issue at the newstand this morning, here’s the big highlight: this killer Miranda Kerr photoshoot. I don’t really get the hipster sports theme, personally, I prefer supermodel shoots to have more of a lingerie in bed theme. But hey, different strokes for different folks I guess. Anyway, this is just further proof that Victoria’s Secret is crazy for letting Miranda go, because she’s so hot she even makes knee pads look good. Now that’s talent.
I’m pretty sure that Victoria’s Secret made a huge mistake dropping Miranda Kerr because here she is in a little video for KORA organics skin products and just her face alone has caused me to have a serious pant fire. Not many chicks can do that just by staring into a camera. I challenge anyone to watch this clip and not be blown away! Even you ladies!