I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that most of you dudes out there probably don’t read Women’s Health, so you may have missed this one: Miranda Kerr looking smoking hot on the cover of their latest issue. But don’t worry. You won’t have to sandwich it with a copy of Playboy at the newsstand or ask your girlfriends to buy it for you, because I’ve got the photoshoot for you perverts below. (You’re welcome.)
CELEBRITIES > Bikinis
In case you forgot, Tom Brady is still on “vacation” from the Patriots for another week, and while that hasn’t exactly been good news for New England fans, it’s great news for all us
perverts fans of his MILF wife Gisele Bundchen. Because that means she’s on vacation too, and the paparazzi managed to catch some of her best angles. It’s just a shame that Brady’s suspension is almost up. Here’s hoping he gets caught for something again, and soon.
Gisele Bundchen e o marido, o jogador de futebol americano Tom Brady, estão de férias em Positano, na Itália. Os dois estão curtindo uns dias a dois e, nesses cliques do TMZ, o casal almoça junto e toma um pouco de sol do lado de fora da casa deles, de folga. Eles curtem os dias off de Brady da NFL, que está suspenso de quatro jogos pelo seu time, o Patriots. #giselebundchen #tombrady
Here’s one of my favorite bikini hotties Yara Khmidan back with another smoking hot photoshoot. And if you don’t know anything about Yara, I suggest you get to know this Ukrainian hottie better ASAP. And no, I don’t mean by looking her up on Google, I mean by pressing your nose up against your computer screen while you click through these pictures. Trust me, it’ll be worth every second.
Here is Charlotte McKinney in a little bikini at the beach. Besides her delicious ginormous breasts, for an “Instagram Supermodel” she is looking a little doughy. I think I can help. Charlotte, come to my mom’s basement and while you do some deep knee bends, I will motivate you by motorboating your huge knockers.
You know how last time I did a post on Emily Ratajkowski, I said she wasn’t made to wear clothes? Well, here’s proof. Here’s a few of the supermodel hottie’s latest Instagram pics that prove once and for all that Emily should be wearing a bikini 24/7. Unless she wants to mix things up with lingerie or nothing at all every once in a while. That works too. Enjoy.
I don’t think I’ve done a post on Sarah Tilleke here before, which means most of you are probably seeing this smoking hot Aussie model for the first time right now. And you know how they say you never forget your first time. So I don’t know about you guys, but I have a feeling this beach photoshoot is going to be burned into my brain for the rest of the day. You’re welcome in advance.
It’s already mid-August, which means summer’s almost over, and we’ve got to make sure to make the most of what’s left. So stop whatever you’re doing and make sure to enjoy this great bikini photoshoot from Nina Agdal, AKA one of the world’s hottest bikini models, for SI’s Summer of Swim. I figure it’s hot enough to last me until at least the end of
summer this sentence. Enjoy.
Alright, so I know I like to rag on Charlotte McKinney and call her a fake supermodel or whatever, but any time a busty hottie comes down with a serious case of nippleitis at the beach, it’s major news as far as I’m concerned, no matter who’s involved. So make sure to check back for more updates on this very important breaking story, while I press my nose up against my computer screen looking for, uh, clues. Or something. Enjoy.
According to my sources, my favorite leggy Brit Kimberley Garner hit the beach in St. Tropez this week. And even though I’m a little bummed she didn’t invite her future ex-husband (AKA yours truly) along, at least the paparazzi went with her, which is the next best thing. And I’ve gotta say, I’m impressed by her moves. Forget the Jessica Alba bikini ass pose, I think the Kimberley Garner bikini ass handstand might just be my new favorite beach pose.
Maya Stepper may not be a household name in the modeling business yet, but I bet that changes once people start seeing more of this blonde hottie. Because she’s got hands down one of the most amazing bikini bodies I’ve seen in a while, and it’s my job to drool over chicks in bikinis. So take it from me, if you don’t know Maya yet, you’re going to want to fix that ASAP. Starting with this latest photoshoot. Enjoy.
I always love it when hotties I discover make it big, mostly because that way I can take full credit for their success. So here’s my latest find to ride the patented “Tuna Bump” to the bikini photoshoot big-time: my former InstaBabe Carmella Rose. But there’s no need for Carmella to thank me for my help. These crazy-hot bikini pictures are all the thanks I need. Well, unless she wants to tell her hot friends to get in touch with me with their own bikini and/or lingerie pictures. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.
It’s been way too long since the last time I did a post on Julia Pereira, and I was starting to get a little worried she’d disappeared. But the last time I called 911 to report a missing hottie, they told me that didn’t qualify as an actual emergency. Anyway, turns out I didn’t have to worry, because the Brazilian supermodel just showed up at the beach in Miami looking downright amazing. Although now I think I have to call 911 again to report a five-alarm pants fire… It’s really getting out of control.
I don’t know why Romee Strijd isn’t a bigger name in the supermodel business. Because as far as I’m concerned, she’s just as hot as any of the other Victoria’s Secret models out there. Not to mention, 100 times hotter than so-called models like Bella Hadid. But I guess that just means there’s less competition for me when I ask Romee to marry me via Twitter, which helps my chances. I bet they’re up to 0.0002% by now!
Here’s one of my all-time favorite MILFs Jessica Alba at the beach in Hawaii, and you know, I didn’t think it was supposed to get chilly in Hawaii, but I’m glad to see I was wrong. Because Jessica’s definitely coming down with a classic case of nippleitis here. And I’m pretty sure the only known cure is for the paps to take lots and lots of pictures with their zoom lenses. Enjoy.