I don’t know when Emma Roberts became a professional lingerie model, but don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely digging this latest photoshoot she did for Aerie. That said, I don’t know if the pasty hottie should quit her day job just yet… But that’s only because I enjoy seeing Emma show off her pale stems in short shorts for the paps too. Hopefully she can keep doing both for now.
CELEBRITIES > Emma Roberts
According to my sources, my favorite pasty hottie Emma Roberts and Lea Michele are working on some new TV show called Scream Queens together. And I guess they’ve become friends or something, because they also went shopping at Whole Foods wearing skintight spandex together. Anyway, I don’t know about you perverts, but I’m currently working on some pretty great fantasies involving these two squeezing organic, GMO-free melons. Yum.
Well, this is different. And don’t get me wrong, different is definitely good. Because normally, whenever we see Emma Roberts, the best we can hope for is her pale stems in a pair of short shorts. But today, we get to see my favorite pasty hottie in lingerie thanks to this photoshoot she did for the Aerie Untouched campaign. And I’ve gotta say, I’m impressed. If you ask me, Emma should do lingerie shoots like this more often, and I’d be more than happy to help make it happen. After all, my phone takes great pictures. Call me!
I’m glad to see Emma Roberts out in New York and getting a little sun for once. Because if there’s one thing the pasty hottie could use, it’s some Vitamin D. Although I’m a little disappointed she’s giving us a peek at her stomach here, but covering up her legs. So if Emma really wants to get a good tan, minus any of those pesky tan lines, she should come over to my place. I’ve got a great set up in my backyard. It’s totally private, as long as she doesn’t mind all the cameras. Call me!
According to my sources, Emma Roberts is on the set of some new movie in these shots, and I don’t know what it’s about, but considering how pale Emma always seems to look, I’m going to go ahead and assume she’s playing a ghost. Actually, better make that a chilly ghost, because judging from these pictures, our favorite pasty hottie’s come down with a classic case of nippleitis. And you know, if it’s already looking this good behind the scenes, I can’t wait to see how the actual movie turns out.
You might have to put on sunglasses to protect your eyes from the glare coming off Emma Roberts‘ pasty white stems in these shots, but trust me, it’s worth it. Because for all the times we’ve seen Emma rocking a pair of a short shorts over the years, I don’t think we’ve ever seen her go this short. I just don’t understand how she could be showing this much skin and not even get a little tan. She must be part blogger or something.
I’m not really sure what Emma Roberts is up to these days, besides avoiding the sun this summer, but everybody’s favorite pasty hottie went see-through out in LA the other night, and that’s always newsworthy as far as I’m concerned. Unfortunately though, she didn’t conveniently “forget” to wear a bra underneath, which would’ve made this an even bigger story. Clearly, Emma needs a new management team. And I’d be more than happy to volunteer. I’ve got a bunch of great ideas — granted, most of them involve sex tapes and bikini yoga, but hey, you go with what works, right? Call me!
Normally, I make fun of Emma Roberts and call her pasty and say she needs a tan, but right now, I’m a little too busy being distracted by this solid leg show she’s putting on filming a promo for her new show Scream Queens. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still think the girl could use a tan, but for some reason, she won’t take me up on my offer to let her sunbathe in my backyard. So basically, I set up all those cameras for nothing.
I know it’s a little weird to see Emma Roberts on this site in something other than a pair of short shorts, so I’ll give you a few minutes to get over the shock. When you’re done though, I recommend taking a good look at Emma at the Palo Alto premiere, because those pasty white stems of hers clean up nice. All she needs now is a tan, and I think I might even be able to make her a future ex-Mrs. Tuna someday. How’s that for a good incentive?
I got so used to seeing Emma Roberts show off those pasty white stems of hers in short shorts that it’s weird to see them all covered up like this. But you know, now that I don’t have to wear my sunglasses to avoid being blinded by the glare, I can fully appreciate the leg show Emma always seems to have going on. All she needs is a tan and we’ll be in business.
Emma Roberts was at the Tribeca Film Festival the other night promoting her new movie The Bling Ring, and seeing Emma all done up made me realize something: I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen her in anything other than short shorts. So don’t get me wrong, but seeing Emma dressed up is kind of like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. Sure, it’s cute, but you can tell it’s just not natural.
Here’s Emma Roberts pulling Amanda Bynes’ go-to paparazzi defense move: putting her bag in front of her face. But since she’s wearing short shorts, all it does is give us a better look at Emma’s long pasty white legs. You know, you’d think from all the times we’ve seen her in shorts, Emma would’ve gotten a tan at some point. Whoever’s putting sunscreen on her needs to ease up a bit. Not that I blame him though, if that was my job I’d probably get carried away too.
Are you surprised to see Emma Roberts walking around looking upset in a pair of short shorts and an ironic hipster t-shirt? Me neither. This chick has so much potential, she’s got good genes, but she seems to have fallen into the wrong fashion crowd. Although, she does like to show off those really long, skinny legs of hers, so that’s alright. This outfit with some of those clear stripper heels, a bikini top and a tan, and a couple of half naked Korean hookers and we’ve got ourselves a photoshoot. Hot.
Were you in the mood for some long, really pale chicken legs in ratty denim cut-offs this morning? Of course you were, everybody loves chicken legs. Here’s Emma Roberts pumping some dirty coins into a parking meter the other day. Obviously I’ve got a thing for chicks feeding meters, but I’m going to ignore that for now and focus on those pasty white thighs. I would like to paint some bronzer on those things… With my testicles.