I haven’t seen many pictures of Jessica Alba all dressed up in a while so I was happy to find these shots of her in a short little dress at the People’s Choice Awards last night. That’s not entirely true, at first I was pleased to see those long legs and sweet boobs exposed, then I noticed that motherhood is taking it’s toll on her face and I was hurt and saddened and a little embarrassed. The same range of emotions I feel when I eat a burrito.
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Photos:Bauer-Griffin
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I really don’t know why, but I like watching hot women put gas in there cars. I don’t think that makes me some kind of freak but I don’t think it’s all that healthy either. Anyhow, here Jessica Alba pumping gas into her big black SUV. That’s it, squeeze that nozzle. This is pathetic. I think that internet porn has completely spoiled me to the point where I have to go looking for random sexual situations to turn me on. I wish there was a support group for me.
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When I discovered that their were pictures of Jessica Alba on vacation on the beach in Mexico, I have to admit I got an excited feeling in my pants. Like I used to get climbing the rope in gym class. Sadly, these have to be some of the absolute worst Jessica Alba swimsuit pictures of all time. I bet if they made a bathing suit with a turtle neck she’d be wearing it.
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Normally, I give Jessica Alba a hard time because she is one of the hottest pieces in Hollywood, but she hates being called a sex symbol. And ever since she had a kid she doesn’t make an effort to please her male fans anymore. That’s not very nice! Well, here she is at the Prada book launch cocktail party looking the best I’ve seen her in a long time. Yes, still way too little skin for my taste, but it’s a step in the right direction…
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Photos: WENN.com
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I’ve never been one for fashion, I still wear a t-shirt that says ‘Pobody’s Nerfect’, so I can’t tell if this outfit Jessica Alba is wearing is hot or not. I can tell that parts of it are hot, the see through top, knee high socks and bitch boots are pretty sweet, but the old man shorts and grandma sweater have to go. If the shorts were tight short shorts and the sweater was, let’s say, Jessica Simpson. Then no question this would have been one of the sexiest outfits of the year. Better luck next time.
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Here’s Jessica Alba out walking her dog and giving us a good lesson on just what a woman’s ass should look like in a pair of jeans. It’s perfect. I see that she’s dyed her hair red for some reason, I wonder if the curtains match the drapes? Actually I hope there aren’t any drapes at all or is it curtains? Whichever one means pubes, I’ve never understood this expression, it’s confusing. Does she have red pubes or not? I don’t know what’s going on anymore.
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Jessica Alba must be annoyed with all the attention Megan Fox has been getting because here she is trying her best to become relevant again, by flashing a little leg while attending a show, during New York’s Fashion Week. Don’t get me wrong, I love a chick in knee high boots, they’re very classy, but Jessica hated being called the sexiest so what’s this all about? Sooner or later she’s going to have to accept the fact that only 80% and not 90% of the male population wants to have sexual intercourse with her. Deal with it.
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It’s nice to see that Jessica Alba is finally starting to work her way out of mommy mode and is making her way back to the sexy starlet that she once was. First it was the hot as f@#k Jessica Alba bikini pictures and now here she is looking wet and sexy running some errands. I was beginning to think the was going to get herself a reasonable easy to manage short mom haircut and some sensible shoes so it’s nice to see she hasn’t completely given up. Call me next time you want to play house.
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Photos: Fame
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Here’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for; Jessica Alba post pregnancy bikini pictures. It took a year or two, but they’re finally here and guess what?! They’re amazing! I mean, you couldn’t tell by looking at her that a baby popped out of her not too long ago. She should be a role model to all expecting mothers out there, there’s no excuse to let your body go down after giving birth! Jessica is proof.
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Here’s Jessica Alba taking her kid on a playdate the other day looking like one of the hottest moms ever. I can’t believe some lucky dad somewhere gets to hang out with Jessica while their kids play. I would train my kid to become friends with her kid just so we can hang out. Actually, forget the kids, I’d like to have a playdate my own with Jessica, I think I still have my old lite-brite somewhere around here in my mom’s basement or we can just hold each other softly and listen to Jefferson Airplane.
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There’s so much to cover with these pics, I don’t know where to start. First, there is Jessica Alba’s new blond hair, it’s not bad, but still I don’t like the bangs. Then there’s her nipple poking out of her shirt. Guess it was feeding time for the baby, damn lucky baby! Finally, the tramp stamp. Yes, she will always be branded as one, no matter how much she hates it.
  
 
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As predicted in my last post, it was too soon to call Jessica Alba hot, because no less than two days later she shows up to the premiere of ‘Sugar’ looking like this. I don’t even know what to call this, but it’s ugly, damn ugly, f#ckin’ ugly. It’s chicks like this that put a damper on my day and me in a bad mood. I seriously need to lay off the computer for awhile and hit the strip clubs. At least there, even the ugly chicks put some effort into what they’re wearing.
11 more pictures of Jessica Alba here
  
  
  
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I have no clue what this Jessica Alba photoshoot is, but seeing that she has bangs I’m pretty sure they’re relatively new. I’m glad she at least decided to get done up for it because lately, Jessica has been the #1 Rotten Tuna girl. I wish I can say that she’s hot here but I know tomorrow we’ll be seeing her look like this so until I see some more, I’m going to have to hold back.
  
  
  
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I’m speechless, Jessica Alba has been one of the hottest chicks in Hollywood for a long time now but lately she’s been slipping up. Here she is dressed in an outfit you’d expect to see Fred Flintstone’s creepy neighbor Creepella Gruesome wearing around her mansion. How’s that for an obscure reference? But seriously folks, this is just cruel, somewhere there’s a fake animal without it’s fake fur freezing to death. It sickens me.
  
  
  
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