Hollywoodtuna » Jessica Simpson

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Rotten Tuna: Jessica Simpson

I don’t know what the hell is going on with Jessica Simpson these days, this is the fifth post in a row where she looks like shit. And I don’t mean posts of her pulling weeds in her garden, she’s dressed up at events and still looks like shit. Why does she insist on covering the goods? Here she is in her grandma’s dress at some QVC event dressed like she’s preparing to launch her own line of designer clothes for fat chicks. I always thought that clothing for fat girls were just bed sheets with neck and arm holes cut out of them, but I could be wrong.

Flynet, WENN.com

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Jessica Simpson Is Still Not Revealing The Goods

You all know that Jessica Simpson is my favorite piece of meat of all time. That’s why I am so hard on her when she covers up her sweet sweater puppies. It’s not good for her career and it not good for making an interesting post. Anyway, I’m probably the only moron putting these pics up of her at Heathrow Airport. Then again she’s still hot and besides it’s better than a kick in the ass.

Photos: Flynet

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Jessica Simpson Disappoints, Ashlee Surprisingly Doesn’t

Here are Ashlee and Jessica Simpson at Wet Republic at the MGM Grand Resort Hotel and Casino celebrating Ashlee’s birthday in their hot little outfits. I shouldn’t say that, one of them is in a hot little outfit. the other is wearing a very fashionable two piece tummy control swimsuit and see through chiffon cover all that’s all the rage with the old ladies down in Fort Lauderdale during the High Holidays. I can’t believe Ashlee Simpson has become the hot sister. Shoot me.

Photos: WENN.com

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Jessica Simpson Needs To Reveal The Goods

It’s been a while since we’ve done a post on Jessica Simpson, but here she is at the Operation Smile’s 8th Annual Smile Gala and looking pretty decent in a black dress. I say decent because I don’t like the fact that she’s hiding her big breasts… especially considering the extra pounds she’s carrying, those things are bigger and better than ever! Anyway, let’s hope she stops teasing us and starts making us smile again. Nothing puts me in a better mood than Jess’ chesticles.

Photos: WENN.com, Flynet

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Jessica Simpson Disappoints

Here’s Jessica Simpson in London looking like a 40 year old divorceé… a hot version of one, but she should be banned from wearing shawls or whatever that carpet thing is called that is covering her breasts. It’s disappointing! No wonder her dog ran away… If Jessica wants to get her back, she just needs to unleash those puppies and I’m sure Daisy and her mothering instincts will return home in no time.

Photos: Flynet

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Jessica Simpson’s Breasts Need A Hand

Taking a break from her busy schedule of getting dumped and making movies that only get released in break away republics of the former Soviet Union, Jessica Simpson was spotted on the runway at the Ozlem Suer fashion show in Paris, France today. This must have been a fashion show for plus sized women because Jessica hasn’t exactly been the slimmest as of late, not to mention that there’s something strange going on in the neighborhood of her boobs. Weird fat girl sideboob stretch marks? Say it ain’t so Jessica. If you need a hand rubbing cocoa butter and vitamin E oil on those things don’t be afraid to call me. I’m here to help.

Photos: SplashNewsOnline, WENN.com

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Jessica Simpson’s Nipples Are Happy To See You

I’m loving the newly single Jessica Simpson. Here she is leaving Beso restaurant showing off her magnificent cleavage and slightly erect nipples. Unlike my earlier Cindy Crawford post, the Paparazzi did manage to get the best angle. Anytime you get a chance to look down Jessica’s top should be considered THE money shot.

Photos: Fame, PacificCoastNews. SplashNewsOnline

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Jessica Simpson Is A Drunken Boob

Here’s a drunk Jessica Simpson leaving Katsuya with sister Ashlee. Unfortunately, she wasn’t drunk enough to expose her lady junk, but we did get a little glimpse of the greatest boobs in showbiz. I’m surprised we didn’t see more because that outfit is pretty flimsy. Why couldn’t someone feed her a few more shots before leaving?! What a shame…

Photos: WENN.com, Flynet

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Jessica Simpson Is Working It

We all know that Jessica Simpson got dumped because she was getting too fat, that’s not necessarily true, I have no idea why she was dumped. But whatever the reason it’s probably for the best because now that she’s single she’s been hitting the gym again like a good girl. This is yet another reason why hot girls like Jessica should never have boyfriends. I can’t wait for the new and improved Jessica Simpson, I’ll keep you posted.

Photos: Fame

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Jessica Simpson Sucks The Dark Chocolate

These are some of the greatest movie stills I have ever seen, Jessica Simpson sucking on a chocolate bar from her latest straight to DVD movie Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous. Genius. I bet the guy who produced this shit is just some rich dude who’s always wanted to see Jessica blow a candy bar. Weirdo. I can’t really blame him, if I were a millionaire I’d have done the same thing. Except I would have released these things before the movie that maybe it wouldn’t have gone straight to DVD in the first place and I could produce a sequel with Jessica Working a jackhammer in a bikini.

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Jessica Simpson Disappoints

Jessica Simpson isn’t normally very timid when it comes to showing off her cleavage but for some reason she decided to wear an old lady dress and cardigan to throw us for a loop. I’m disappointed, I was hoping to get a look at her puppies before the weekend, and not the one in the Louis Vuitton carrying case. I don’t know what it is but I have a feeling that she might be a little high maintenance. It’s just a hunch.

Photos: PacificCoastNews

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Jessica Simpson Covers Up For Our Safety

After yesterday’s amazing Jessica Simpson boobie post, I felt it was necessary to loosen those tight pants with these pictures of her all covered up. I hate this as much as you do, but I need to run errands and I don’t want to get arrested. Anyway,for those of you who missed out and have no clue what I’m talking about go back and check it out. I warn you though, do not attempt to stand up or use heavy machinery for awhile after viewing.

Jessica Simpson’s Boobs Are Good Band-Aids
Jessica Simpson And Her Great Smelling Cleavage
Jessica Simpson’s Breasts Are PHAT
Jessica Simpson Ruins An Upskirt Moment

Photos: Flynet

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Jessica Simpson’s Breasts (We Salute You)

This post is for all you Jessica Simpson haters, Oh you know who you are. Try to hate these tits! I bet you can’t. Here she is heading out for dinner in NYC and proving to the world that she is hands down the Queen Of Cleavage! Bow down to the Mammaries.

Photos: SplashNewsOnline

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