Apparently Selena Gomez made the cover of Flare Magazine for their November issue, and look, I know they’re supposed to be a fashion mag and all, but is it too much to ask for a few more sexy pictures in here? Say, a couple of Selena in lingerie and/or bikinis, preferably straddling her favorite pasty blogger. We could be the new hottest fall accessory.
CELEBRITIES > Selena Gomez
I guess Selena Gomez, or at least somebody from her team, must be a loyal reader. Because I was just saying yesterday how Selena needed to step up her outfit game. And now here she is looking nice and chesty at the airport. So now that I know Selena’s listening, here’s another recommendation: she should really consider releasing a sex tape with a semi-famous blogger instead of her next lame single. Hey, I figure it’s worth a shot.
No, Selena Gomez isn’t having a stroke here. I’m pretty sure she’s just trying to copy Miley Cyrus‘ patented tongue action posing with her fans in Paris. Anyway, I fully support Selena trying to become more like her fellow pop star hottie, I just think it’d be smarter to start out copying Miley’s outfits first and then work her way up to the sexy tongue action. You’ve got to walk in nipple pasties before you can run, or however that old saying goes…
So according to my sources, Selena Gomez was in Paris over the weekend. And I guess she must’ve heard me say she needed to start stepping her game up in the clothing department, because here she is trying out three different outfits for the paps. I don’t know about you guys, but personally, I think I like the PJs best. It reminds me that I need to invite Selena over for a sleepover again. I don’t think she got my invitation the first time, since I never heard back.
According to my sources, our second favorite pop star Selena Gomez is in London right now (in case you couldn’t tell from the teeth on that dude behind her). And as much as I hate to say it, unless Selena starts stepping it up in the outfit department soon, she’s going to fall behind Taylor Swift in my pop star hottie power rankings. Fortunately, that’s nothing a bikini vacation can’t fix, so get on it, Selena! Perverts everywhere are counting on you.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely digging the peek we’re getting at Selena Gomez‘s super-cute cleavage in these shots of her out in London. But if Selena’s serious about passing Miley Cyrus as my #1 pop star crush, she’s going to have to step her game up a whole lot more than this. Miley probably already posted another 20 topless pictures to Instagram in the time it took Selena to walk to her car…
According to my sources, it’s London Fashion Week or something, and one of my favorite pop star hotties Selena Gomez showed up to the Louis Vuitton Series 3 Gala Opening looking hotter than we’ve seen her in weeks. Anyway, I don’t know much about fashion, but if you ask me, as good as Selena looks in that dress, I prefer this other outfit she wore over the weekend much better.
Apparently Selena Gomez did a photoshoot with Elle Magazine for their October issue, and according to the cover, she talked to them about feeling “the pressure to be perfect.” Which is just nuts. I mean, c’mon, I would never do that! So, just to clarify: I’m not trying to pressure Selena to be perfect, I’m trying to pressure her to be topless. There’s a big difference.
Good news: it sounds like Selena Gomez was listening when I said that she’d need to start ditching a few layers of clothing if she wanted to to take over from Miley Cyrus as my #1 pop star crush. Because she just posted this picture to Instagram, and for once, I completely approve of her choice of outfit. Even though I’m pretty sure Selena meant to send this directly to my inbox. I guess she must’ve just hit the wrong button.
Here’s my favorite little chubster Selena Gomez at the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards wearing a somewhat see-through dress. Selena is going to have to step up her game if she wants to be taken seriously like Miley Cyrus. She can’t be wearing so much clothing. There’s only room for one pop star crush and Selena is going to have to dress more appropriately if she wants that honor.
OK, so maybe I haven’t been so nice to Selena Gomez lately, calling her a chubster, and saying she could stand to lose a few pounds. But I take it all back, because here Selena is looking pretty fit out in New York. And just to show there’s no hard feelings, I’d like to make it up to her by offering Selena a few coupons good for 1 free backrub from a licensed blogger. I even make house calls.
I know I’ve been a little rough on Selena Gomez lately, saying how she could stand to lose a few pounds. But after seeing these pictures of her filming her new music video in LA, I take it back. Because it looks like Selena’s finally put on weight where it counts: between her stomach and her shoulders. And me and the Little Tuna fully approve. Enjoy.
Supposedly this super-hot picture of Selena Gomez wearing nothing but a towel is from some series Mario Testino shot, and I’m sorry, but I just don’t get it. How come when a famous photographer asks a hottie like Selena to pose for him in a towel, it’s no problem, but when I do it, I’m considered a creepy pervert? I don’t know what I’m doing wrong… Unless maybe I shouldn’t just be in a towel too.
I may never understand what a pop star hottie like Selena Gomez is doing as the official spokesmodel for Adidas, but the way I see it, the more photoshoots like this that Selena does, the better. For us, at least. Because I don’t know if all these shots of Selena showing off her sexy stomach and legs in spandex are going to help sell more workout gear, but I bet Kleenex sales start going through the roof. Enjoy.