I don’t know when Selena Gomez and Gigi Hadid became friends. I didn’t realize they even knew each other, but I guess when you’re young and hot and Insta-famous, you probably travel in similar crowds. Anyway, it turns out Selena and Gigi are tighter than I thought. We’re talking drunkenly-hugging-on-the-beach-in-super-short-dresses tight. And I don’t know about you guys, but all of a sudden, my pants are feeling a lot tighter too.
CELEBRITIES > Selena Gomez
Before you get all excited, no, these GIFs don’t mean the Make a Wish Foundation finally came through and helped me FaceTime with Selena Gomez in a bathrobe like I’ve always dreamed of. According to my sources, this is actually Selena’s new music video for her single “Wolves.” I guess she just sexy dances in her bathrobe for the whole thing? Which kind of makes it the best video I’ve seen in years. Well done.
I’m not sure when these were taken or who Selena Gomez is modeling for in these pictures, and I stayed up way too late watching that never-ending World Series game last night to bother looking any of that up. Besides, it’s Selena Gomez looking leggy and hot in lingerie. How much more do you perverts really need to know? So you guys just enjoy, while I go fall asleep on my keyboard.
Selena Gomez may not be that great at professional modeling (yet), but whatever. Some people are just talented at different things, and it’s important to play to your strengths. That’s why I write about T&A and not stocks or something. Anyway, here’s Selena thrusting her chest at the camera while not wearing a bra. So who cares if she’s not the best supermodel? She’s already one of the Top 5 Instagram models of all-time after this performance. Yow!
I don’t know who told Selena Gomez she should try her hand at modeling, but whoever it is, I really need to get them to be my wingman at the bar from now on. Because they’re obviously a pro at talking women into making bad choices. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like Selena as much as the next red-blooded Internet pervert, and she’s super-hot no matter what, but her model face still needs
a little a lot of work.
I don’t know when or how it happened, but it’s like everyone decided Selena Gomez would make a great model all of a sudden. First she was modeling leggings and sports bras for Puma, and now she’s doing Coach’s 2017 holiday campaign? Don’t get me wrong, Selena’s probably hotter than most of the other fake “celebrity” models they could have gotten for this, but if she’s going to be wearing this much clothing, then really, what’s the point of hiring her in the first place?
Gigi Hadid’s got Reebok. Kendall Jenner’s got adidas. And now it looks like Puma’s getting into the hot spokesmodel game by getting Selena Gomez to model sports bras and leggings for them. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve never really thought of Selena as #fitspiration before (or whatever the hell they call it), but damn if she isn’t seriously fit. So enjoy.
I don’t know a whole lot about makeup or whatever, but I’m 99% sure that thing Selena Gomez is licking here is supposed to be for curling your eyebrows, not your tongue. Then again, I’m also 99% sure that if Selena really wants to promote her new album/tour/single, she should be doing daily bikini photoshoots on Instagram, not this fake artsy crap. Girl needs a new manager, stat!
I know it’s been at least a week or two since I’ve done any new posts on Selena Gomez, so here’s a few new updates from the pop star hottie: here she is playing the piano in a bikini and doing deep knee bends in a bathrobe with her
friends assistants. I guess she must be getting ready to go on tour soon. I know that probably means selling out giant arenas or whatever, but if Selena’s interested in doing any smaller, more intimate shows, my bedroom (AKA my mom’s basement) has great acoustics. Call me!
Don’t get me wrong, I am 100% here for Selena Gomez promoting her new single by dropping sexy selfies and new photoshoots on an almost daily basis. But if she wants to get serious about this whole self-promotion thing, someone’s got to get her a much better camera. Because this latest bikini picture is blurry AF. Luckily, I know someone whose phone takes great pictures and doesn’t have anything better to do than follow Selena around 24/7… Hint, hint. (It’s me.)
I know I’ve made fun of Selena Gomez and her “music” “career” in the past, but ever since she dropped her newest single, we’ve been getting practically a nonstop string of hotness from the wannabe pop star. Like this latest photoshoot she did for InStyle. So now I’m thinking Selena needs to get back in the studio ASAP so she can keep this hot streak going. Well, as soon as she’s done in the pool, of course.
Looks like Selena Gomez released a bunch of private candid Polaroids, I guess to promote her new single or something. And before you rush to hit that zoom button, no, none of them are as “private” as you might’ve hoped. So to make up for any eye strain you might’ve incurred as a result, I’ve included a GIF of Selena air humping on stage as a bonus. No zooming in necessary. (You’re welcome.)
Turns out, that video of Selena Gomez lip-synching along to her new single “Fetish” wasn’t the actual music video for the song. And thank God, because the real one is so, so much better. I can’t speak to the song itself, because I still haven’t taken this thing off mute, but otherwise, it’s got everything I look for in a good video: a hot pop star with nippleitis feeling herself up and… yeah, nevermind. That’s pretty much all me and the Little Tuna need. Enjoy!