I know I give Bella Thorne a lot of ink for her tongue skills, but let’s not forget who the true pioneer of hot nobody tongue action was. That’s right. Miley Cyrus was sticking hers out for the cameras long before Bella ever joined Snapchat. So here’s some throwback tongue action from Miley. And actually, this gives me a great idea: Bella and Miley should have a tongue fight to see who the real #1 is. Forget Mayweather/McGregor, I guarantee that’d set a new pay-per-view record.
CELEBRITIES > Miley Cyrus
I don’t really understand the whole prison theme, but after weeks and months of complaining that Miley Cyrus is getting too wholesome now that she’s gone country, I’m definitely not going to complain about Miley going fully naked for some new photoshoot. Instead, I’m just going to cross my fingers this means the old attention-seeking, booty short-wearing, topless selfie-posting Miley is back. Here’s hoping!
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m really starting to hate this whole wholesome country star thing that Miley Cyrus is going for these days. I mean, does she really think photoshoots of her fully-dressed in a field is going to sell more albums than paparazzi shots of her hitting the club in nothing but a pair of booty shorts and nipple pasties? Sex sells. Wholesome doesn’t. Trust me on this.
I’ve been jealous of a lot of weird sh%t over the years: dolphins, oversized inflatable pool toys. But before you ask, no, I’m not jealous of this dude in the giant pink pig head. I mean, sure, the lucky bastard got to live out one of my dreams: standing within 5 feet of a bikini-wearing Miley Cyrus. But just look at the tiny eye holes on that thing. I’ve got a much better view from behind my computer screen.
Yesterday, I had video from Miley Cyrus‘ shoot for the September issue of Cosmopolitan, but today I’ve got the rest of the pictures for you below. Including one of Miley in some seriously short Daisy Dukes. And you know, I take it all back. If this is how she’s going to dress, maybe Miley going country isn’t such a bad thing after all. Enjoy!
According to this cover, we’re going to see Miley Cyrus like we’ve “never seen her” before in Cosmopolitan‘s September issue. And I’m not sure who writes these things, or which Miley they’ve been watching these past couple years, but not only have we seen this all before — Miley rolling around in lingerie and straddling a motorcycle in short shorts is exactly what I’ve been missing ever since she started this whole “wholesome country girl” act of hers. It’s about time they brought the old Miley back!
Last time I did a post on Miley Cyrus, she was flashing her bra on Instagram just like the good old days. But I guess she must really be committed to this whole wannabe hippie makeover of hers (or at least her agent/manager is), because here’s Miley on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar going full flower child. And I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve had enough of this lame wholesome act. I think it’s time we start a petition to bring back the old Miley. Who’s with me?
I know Miley Cyrus has been a little boring lately, and believe me, no one’s more upset about that than me and the Little Tuna. But you know that saying “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”? Well, I guess it turns out you also can’t teach an old attention wh%re to stop showing off her funbags on the Internet. And thank God for that.
Now that Miley Cyrus is doing her whole “wholesome” country girl act these days, it’s been a while since we’ve gotten any real hotness from one of my former favorite attention whores. So I don’t know about you guys, but it’s great to see Miley finally showing off her puppies for the camera again. And no, I’m not talking about those cute pooches. Enjoy.
I don’t know what kind of quarterlife crisis or whatever Miley Cyrus is going through right now, but I for one am definitely not digging this whole hipster flower child look she’s got going on these days. I miss the old Miley. You know, the one that used to hit the clubs in nothing but nipple pasties and booty shorts. Anyway, in case you need a reminder of those glory days, I included a couple shots from 2013, back when Miley was headed in the right direction, instead of down this dangerous path. You’re welcome.
OK, so this one is a little tricky for me. In case you didn’t hear, Miley Cyrus and Ariana Grande performed as part of a big, star-studded charity benefit concert for Manchester last night, and it’s a little tough to make jokes about that, because it’s a great cause. It’s also difficult, because every time I try to whip out the Little Tuna, they cut to a shot of someone in the audience tearing up. And normally I don’t cry until afterwards. So I don’t know, maybe we should just move it along?
I was all ready to start complaining about Miley Cyrus and her cleaned-up new image. I barely even recognized her in her last photoshoot. But then I saw this picture of Miley doing one of her classic poses for the camera: the old tongue-action-and-cleavage-show look and unless that was just a Throwback Thursday pic, I’m glad to see there’s at least still some of the old Miley left.
OK, so I know that Miley Cyrus is doing her best to convince us all that she’s “changed” for some reason. Which I don’t really get, because I always loved Miley and her topless, attention-seeking tongue action. But hey, whatever helps you sell records to Middle America, I guess. Anyway, here’s the video for her new single “Malibu,” and I’m happy to report that it’s still got something in there for us fans of the old Miley, like a couple booty shots and some underboob action. I’m glad to see at least some things never change. Phew.
I’ve been wondering why we haven’t been seeing Miley Cyrus do any of her usual tongue action and topless routine lately, and now I know why. See, according to this Billboard cover, Miley’s “left behind the pasties” and pot so she can become a singer-songwriter and heal the nation. I don’t think that’s supposed to be a joke, but go ahead and laugh, because that’s one of the funniest things I’ve heard in months. Anyway, I guess that’s why these pictures are so tame (for her). Here’s hoping this is just a phase she grows out of.