I’m 99% sure there isn’t a better combination of words in the English language than the phrase “Candice Swanepoel nude.” And you’ll have to take my word for it, because I’m a professional writer, remember? Stop laughing, that wasn’t supposed to be a punchline… Anyway, here’s Candice’s killer photoshoot for My Town Magazine, and however you want to say it, it just doesn’t get much better than this. Enjoy.
CELEBRITIES > Candice Swanepoel
I don’t normally get these “fashion photoshoots” — they’re always a little too artsy for me. But I’m really digging Candice Swanepoel‘s latest shoot for Lui Magazine. Just make sure you look at these pictures somewhere air-conditioned, because that ice cream isn’t the only thing she’s melting. …I’m talking about my pants region, just to be clear. Ow!
I’ve always said that Candice Swanepoel is so smoking hot, she could wear just about anything and make it look good. And after this seriously sexy leg show that Candice put on in a pair of baggy overalls in New York, I’m even more convinced. Although for a real challenge, next let’s see Candice in something no model has ever been in before: yours truly’s favorite Star Wars sheets.
Here’s one of my all-time favorite models Candice Swanepoel out in New York, and going by her all-spandex outfit here, I’m gonna assume she’s heading to the gym. (That kind of expert analysis is why they pay me the big bucks.) But considering how good Candice looks in workout gear, I don’t get why there aren’t paps stationed inside her gym 24/7. Hell, I’d offer to do it myself, but I’m pretty sure I’m deathly allergic to exercise equipment.
I feel like we’ve been obsessing over so many different model booties lately that we’ve forgotten all about Candice Swanepoel. But after this ballet-themed shoot from the Victoria’s Secret hottie, there should be no doubt that she’s still hands-down the best supermodel booty in the business. And you know, I’ve never really been a ballet fan, but I think I’m finally starting to understand the appeal. Yow.
I don’t know about you guys, but it’s finally starting to warm up near me. And no, that’s not just because I found this killer new Candice Swanepoel photoshoot. Although I’m not gonna lie, it probably doesn’t hurt. In fact, I bet I could probably heat this entire basement with the pants fire I’ve got going on right now. So there you go, I think I just solved the energy crisis by finding our latest renewable energy source: Candice Swanepoel topless pictures. …So, when should I be expecting that Nobel Prize?
I’m not sure if I’m buying Candice Swanepoel calling herself an “athlete” because she models, but hey, whatever gets us more pictures of the hottie at the beach works for me. So let’s all just go with it and enjoy this spread Candice did for the last issue of Self Magazine. And you know, I’m pretty sure I burned a day’s worth of calories just looking at these pictures. Hey, does that make me an athlete too?
Here’s Victoria’s Secret Angels Candice Swanepoel and Lily Aldridge giving me one hell of a Valentine’s Day fantasy at the Victoria’s Secret store in New York City. I’ll still never understand why Victoria’s Secret doesn’t get their models in lingerie for these promotional photo ops, but I guess they just didn’t want to give any husbands or boyfriends unrealistic expectations about buying this stuff for their ladies for Valentine’s Day. If you ask me though, their lingerie should come with a Surgeon General’s warning: “Results not typical.” They’re called fantasies for a reason.
Just because I haven’t done a post on Candice Swanepoel in a few weeks doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about her. Because as far as I’m concerned, she’s still one of my all-time favorite Victoria’s Secret models and hands-down one of the hottest women on the planet. And this latest shoot of hers just confirms it. Although now I want to know where I can get this shirt. Because I think it’d look seriously great in my bedroom. …Candice comes with it, right?
Candice Swanepoel posted this on her Instagram. I like to think that she personally took this photo for me as my Christmas gift. I feel so blessed.
I know I like to say that, for all the lingerie and/or bikini pictures I post, sometimes it just doesn’t get much better than a hottie in a tight white t-shirt, but I also know that not all of you degenerates believe me. So here’s proof: Candice Swanepoel at the airport looking as hot as I’ve seen her in months. I rest my case.
Considering all the epic hotness on display at the Maxim Hot 100 Celebration, I was kind of hoping they’d hold a bikini Jello-wrestling Royal Rumble in order to determine the winner, but I guess they went the boring, conventional route and just voted instead. Because according to my sources, Candice Swanepoel was named #1 this year, and after checking out her perfect supermodel booty in these pictures, yeah, I’d say they definitely made the right choice. You know, once I regain the ability to speak in coherent sentences instead of just drooling and babbling. This might take a while.
Yesterday, Candice Swanepoel made an appearance on EXTRA and once again she proves with her legs show why she is the most popular Victoria’s Secret model and Maxim Magazine’s #1 hottie. Like I said many times before “hottie lists” are just a way for magazines to sell more copies, but this is the first time that I think a publication did it right.
According to my sources, the reason super-hotties Candice Swanepoel and Adriana Lima got together to give us this latest fantasy was to announce that Victoria’s Secret will be doing their annual fashion show in London this winter. Man, how disappointing. And no, for once, I’m not talking about the fact that these two forgot to wear their lingerie. See, I really hoped Victoria’s Secret was going to chose my mom’s basement to host the show this year. So much for my big letter-writing campaign. Oh well, better luck next year I guess.