I know I like to make fun of Sara Jean Underwood for not having a real job, but honestly, she’ll always be one of my favorite do-nothing hotties. Because while the rest of these wannabe hot nobodies are just doing the same old boring, lazy Instagram photoshoots, at least Sara’s actually getting out there and putting some real effort into it. That’s gotta count for something.
CELEBRITIES > Sara Jean Underwood
While the rest of you guys are busy working off your Presidents’ Day hangover, or cleaning up after your big Presidents’ Day party, or putting away your Presidents’ Day tree, I want to take a minute to celebrate someone who never takes a day off, no matter how big or small the holiday is: Sara Jean Underwood. Here she is hard at work traveling the world on her loyal
perverts fans’ money, taking hot as hell pictures for the rest of us poor working stiffs to drool over. And before you say that isn’t a real job, whatever. You can’t argue with the results. Enjoy.
I guess Sara Jean Underwood must be making good money at this whole getting-perverts-to-crowdfund-her-hot-nobody-lifestyle scam, or at least enough for her to bring a friend or two along on her trips. But if Sara really wanted to have a good time, she should try bringing along a blogger. I think I could be real good at rubbing sunscreen on her hard to reach areas. Call me!
While the rest of us suckers are stuck toiling away
in our moms’ basements at the office this Monday, here’s Sara Jean Underwood hard at work at her “office.” And honestly, I can’t even make fun of her. Somehow, Sara managed to figure out a way to fund her do-nothing lifestyle without having to resort to shacking up with some 80-year-old billionaire sugar daddy, so she gets to travel the world and we get these killer bikini pictures. I’d call that a win-win. Well, for everyone except the billionaires.
It’s January 2nd, which means it’s officially time to get back to work for most of you… And unfortunately, yes, that includes us celebrity T&A bloggers too. Luckily though, it also includes hot nobodies like Sara Jean Underwood here too. I know it seems like Sara’s on a perma-vacation from all the bikini pictures in exotic locations, but she’s actually hard at work right now too. Her office is just a little bit more better than the rest of ours.
Looks like Sara Jean Underwood is still “hard at work” traveling the world on
those suckers her loyal Patreon supporters’ dime, but I can’t really complain too much, because I’ve been enjoying this whole bikini world tour of hers almost as much as she has. And besides, the way I see it, if people are willing to pay for her to take a vacation, at least the rest of us are getting some pretty great postcards out of it. Enjoy.
I guess Sara Jean Underwood is still hard at work making fresh new content for all 3K of her Patreon suckers — sorry, I mean subscribers — because here she is giving new meaning to the term “riding bareback”. And don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely hot, but I feel like we’ve seen it before. If Sara really wants to give her fans something new and inventive, how about riding a blogger? No hottie’s ever done that before. Trust me.
I haven’t done a post on Sara jean Underwood in a while, but last I did, she was asking people to donate money for her elaborate vacations through her Patreon. She suckered 3K people. Good for her! It’s a crazy world when dudes pay for chicks they don’t even know to have endless vacations.
I know I like to rag on Sara Jean Underwood, but I can’t deny that the former Playboy model is some kind of business genius. I mean, not only has she conned a bunch of perverts into crowd-funding her do-nothing lifestyle, she’s also turned her bikini Instagram posts into ads for hotels and new music. I’m impressed. This girl is a real pro.
I guess I never realized just how much money Sara Jean Underwood was making off this whole crowdfunding thing. But not only does she have enough to go do absolutely nothing on a bunch of tropical beaches, she’s apparently also got enough money to hire a personal suntan lotion assistant to come with her. Which is a total waste, if you ask me. I would’ve done it for free!
I know I like to make fun of Sara Jean Underwood a lot for getting her loyal perverts — sorry, fans — to crowdfund her world travels, but honestly, good for her. I’d do it too, if I could somehow convince a bunch of dudes living in their mom’s basements to pay me a set fee every month for access to pictures they could get for free with a little creative Googling. When you think about it, Sara’s kind of a business genius. Forget making fun of her. I should be asking if she wants to be my new CFO.
I haven’t done a post on Sara Jean Underwood in a while because turns out she doesn’t like me very much. I think it has to do with the fact that I find it ridiculous that she has a Patreon page and asks her “fans” to fund her lavish lifestyle in exchange for exclusive content. Now just because I find it ridiculous doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it either. That is if I was a hot chick who never had to work a day in her life. Remember this. There is no white privilege. There is only hot privilege. And if you’re not hot, better figure a way to make a lot of cash so that you can find a hottie to have your kid to clean up your gene pool. That goes for you ugly chicks too.
I know I like to make fun of Sara Jean Underwood and her whole crowdfunding her do-nothing hot nobody lifestyle, but I’ve got to give her credit: she definitely knows how to celebrate the Fourth of July. And I know the flag technically isn’t supposed to touch the ground and all that, but I’m pretty sure the founding fathers would be willing to make an exception for this flag bikini if Sara wanted to take it off for some post-Fourth of July fireworks. I know I would. Yow.
It’s been at least a week since we last heard from Sara Jean Underwood, so I figured it was probably time to check back in and see how her new career as a professional travel “blogger” is going. And here you go: a GIF of Sara pretending two flowers are her funbags. I bet all you guys who contributed to her on Patreon are feeling very good about your investment right about now.