Now this is more like it! First we had Kate Upton getting back to her old busty ways for a photoshoot on the streets of New York, and now her and her famous funbags showed up in a couple nice shots for the latest issue of Vogue UK. I know it’s not exactly the lingerie selfies I keep waiting for, but considering Kate’s recent outings, it’s at least a step in the right direction until those finally show up in my inbox. Enjoy.
CELEBRITIES > Kate Upton
I guess Kate Upton‘s been reading what I’ve been saying about her lately, because she finally took my advice and stopped dressing like some boring prude. Instead, she got back to what she’s always done best: showing off that trademark cleavage of hers for the cameras. Here she is modeling for some photoshoot in New York, and as long as Kate’s taking my advice, how about that other thing I’m always nagging her about — sleeping with a blogger. I’m still waiting.
Zzzz… Kate Upton is going to have to take lessons from Nicki Minaj if she wants to impress me. I’m not sure what she is aiming for with this look, but success has made her one boring prude. I want the Kate Upton who used to cat daddy back! Let’s move along, there’s nothing to see here.
Yikes. Remember how I said Kate Upton was close to becoming the new Anna Nicole Smith? Well, after these shots of her on her way into Jimmy Kimmel Live, I think she might already be there. Man, I really hope Kate’s able to turn this around stat, because you know how I hate to see a busty hottie go south. Anyway, in the meantime, here’s a surefire way to distract us all snarky bloggers while Kate gets her act together: show off more of that plump cleavage. Trust me, it works. Jessica Simpson‘s been doing it for years.
Considering all those busty behind-the-scenes pictures we used to get from The Other Woman set, I never would’ve predicted their premiere pictures would be this boring. But like I’ve said before, it pretty much all comes down to whether or not Kate Upton‘s showing the goods. It’s not like Cameron Diaz or Leslie Mann can carry the load themselves anymore these days, although at least Cameron’s showing some nice leg action. Anyway, here’s the three at the German premiere in Munich, and while, yes, they’re a little disappointing separately, together they might be enough for one pants fire. Hey, at least it’s better than a Sears catalogue.
You know, I’d hoped that my warning to Kate Upton yesterday would’ve had some kind of effect on her, and today we’d spot her getting coffee in body paint or something, or at the very least a bikini. But instead here she is leaving her hotel with her sweater mounds all covered up again. I mean, c’mon, where’s the fun in that? Anyway, I hope Kate gets her act together fast, because if she doesn’t shape up soon, I’m going to be forced to find a new favorite busty blonde. And I know neither of us wants that.
Yeah, I know that might be a little rough, considering all the good times me and Kate Upton have spent together — well, all the good times I’ve spent with pictures of her at least. But I’m sorry, these ones from after the London premiere of her new movie The Other Woman just aren’t doing it for me. So if Kate wants me to stop talking bad about her, she best start showing the cleavage again. Hell, just going down an extra 1, 2 or 3 buttons would do the trick here. I mean, I’m not unreasonable or anything.
I don’t know who told Kate Upton this would be a good look for her, but when Leslie Mann and Cameron Diaz are making you look like a fat Anna Nicole Smith at the premiere of ‘The Other Woman’, there’s a fashion stylist, fitness trainer and hairdresser that should be fired immediately. I’m sorry. I love Kate and I only want the best for her.
You know, we spend so much time focusing on Kate Upton‘s busty top half that I forget all about the fact that she’s actually pretty leggy too. But not anymore thanks to this new shoot she did for Sam Edelman. I’m pretty sure Kate’s supposed to be selling footwear or something, but to be honest, my eyes haven’t made it down that far yet, so I can’t be sure. Don’t worry, I’ll get there eventually. Just give me about 30-45 more seconds.
Now that Helen Flanagan’s a brunette, it opened up a chance for Kate Upton to reclaim her crown as my favorite busty blonde model. But I’m sorry, I just don’t think this new spread from Vogue is going to do it. Because not only was I expecting something a lot less classy and a lot more busty, but that “behind-the-scenes” video below also pretty much turned me off. Just watch it and you’ll see what I mean. For one, she’s kind of a terrible actress, and two, that definitely isn’t how my fantasy of there being three Kate Uptons would go.
Now that Helen Flanagan‘s gone ginger, that’s good news for Kate Upton, because it means she can go back to being my favorite busty blonde model again. And she’s got a good shot at hanging onto the title for a while if she keeps showing up looking like this. Because as much as I dig Kate’s bikini pictures, she somehow manages to look just as hot in a pair of tight jeans and a t-shirt. I guess it’s true what they say: it’s what’s underneath that counts.
*Update: Sorry, I guess I was drunk or something, because after closer inspection, this is definitely not Kate Upton. But whoever it is, hey, I’d still hit it.
Today’s a very special day here at the site, because the new 50th anniversary Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is finally out. And for a professional bikini blogger like me, it’s sort of like getting a second Christmas. Only even better, because it means I get to drool over ridiculously hot bikini pictures all day instead of spending time with my dumb family. Anyway, for those of you who are still a little bummed that Kate Upton didn’t make the cover this year for her third in a row, these are for you. Then go check out the rest of the pics here.
Because the Super Bowl’s in New York (OK, technically New Jersey) this year, and Kate Upton is the hottest model from
New York New Jersey right now, Vogue got her to do a Super Bowl-themed shoot for their latest issue. So she posed with a bunch of Jets and Giants players, because I guess somebody forgot to tell the people at Vogue that neither of those teams are actually in the Super Bowl this year. Anyway, Kate looks great as usual, but I’m guessing I’m not the only one who would’ve preferred seeing her with her shirt off in the locker room instead of Victor Cruz. Oh well, maybe next year.
So this year is the 50th anniversary of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue apparently, and to celebrate they threw a big party where Kate Upton busted out big time. Considering Kate’s been kinda covered up lately, I’m guessing this happened because she knows she’s in danger of losing this year’s cover to Nina Agdal. And as much as I still want Nina to win, I figure there’s no harm in a little friendly competition. Especially if it means a good old fashioned cleavage war. I’d say may the best woman win, but who cares? We all win no matter what.