I’ve got some good news: according to her Instagram, Dakota Fanning, aka my second-favorite pasty hottie after Emma Roberts, finally took my advice and went out and got some sun with her friends. Unfortunately, she didn’t invite me along as her personal suntan lotion applier like I’d originally hoped, but hey, there’s always next time. Enjoy.
CELEBRITIES > Dakota Fanning
I’ve always thought that Dakota Fanning has hottie potential, I’ve just been waiting for her to finally bust it out with a beach trip, or red carpet wardrobe malfunction, or series of dirty Snapchats. You know, all the classic moves. But instead, here she is at the premiere of her sister’s new movie The Neon Demon in LA looking like she could use some sun and modeling lessons. Luckily, I can provide both in my mom’s backyard. All Dakota has to bring is her
swimsuit birthday suit and a willingness to learn.
I’m all for Dakota Fanning doing more modeling and fewer movies — I’ve been calling for her to start living up to her hottie potential for a while now. But this shot of her looking like a psycho Cirque de Soleil reject for V Magazine isn’t exactly what I had in mind… I meant bikinis and lingerie shoots, not whatever the hell we’re calling this.
Yikes. I thought Dakota Fanning was supposed to be a pro. But here she is getting surprised by the paparazzi on her way out of some kind of Chanel event and I’ve seen better smiles on Kristen Stewart… If Dakota’s going to be an A-list
actress hottie, she needs to work on this ASAP. Because she’s going to start getting followed around by the paps a lot more from now on, and a face like this could totally ruin those stalker/zoom lens bikini shots.
I can never remember which Fanning sister is trouble and which one isn’t, but I just double-checked and Dakota Fanning here is 21. Which means the only way you’re getting in trouble for looking at this photoshoot she did for some Italian shoe company is if you’re supposed to be working right now, not making out with your computer screen. Luckily I work for myself, so I don’t have that problem.
I keep saying that Dakota Fanning‘s got serious hottie potential if she’d just learn how to dress properly. And these pictures of her out in New York are a good start, since she’s giving us a peek at her sexy stomach. But if Dakota really wants to live up to her full potential, she should start looking to a few of my favorite style icons for inspiration: Micaela Schaefer, Bai Ling and Miley Cyrus. They always manage to inspire me.
I’ve always said that Dakota Fanning has hottie potential, and I guess I’m not the only one who sees it, because apparently NYLON Magazine asked her to host their annual Young Hollywood Party. And it’s a good start, but if Dakota really wants to be taken seriously in this business, she’s going to need to start doing bikini photoshoots and dating
pasty bloggers who live in their moms’ basements influential journalists who made shrewd real estate investments. Call me.
I’ve always said that Dakota Fanning has hottie potential, if she’d just ditch this whole “serious actress” thing and dedicate herself full-time towards becoming a hot nobody. And this leg show she put on at the premiere of her new movie Every Secret Thing is a good start. But if Dakota really wants to take this seriously, she needs to stop doing all these movies and start taking regular beach trips for the paps instead. Frankly, I’m surprised her agent hasn’t told her this yet. It’s like I’m the only one who cares about her career here.
I’m not sure what Dakota Fanning‘s up to these days, because I’m too lazy to look it up, but I do know that she’s wasting some serious hottie potential going out like this. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m digging the sexy stomach peek and tight jeans, but that should be a side dish, not the main course. So forget this whole “acting” thing. We need Miley or Vanessa Hudgens to take Dakota under her wing, because I think with a little practice and hard work, she could be a very talented hot nobody someday.
I always have trouble remembering how old Dakota Fanning is, but not to worry, these pictures aren’t going to earn you a visit from Chris Hansen. Because I just double-checked and apparently Dakota’s 20 these days. And I’m glad to see that she’s started dressing like it too, after these pictures of her going see-through at the 18th annual Accessories Council ACE Awards in New York. Although if Dakota really wants to help people remember that she’s all grown-up now, next time she should remember to forget to wear underwear underneath. Trust me, that’ll definitely do the trick.
So here’s Dakota Fanning at another Twilight screening, and I don’t know about the brown hair. I liked her better as a blonde. This actually makes her look paler. Any whiter, she’d be dead. I might have to do CPR just to make sure. Hey, I didn’t get certified for nothing.
They’re not the best quality, but here are some screencaps of Dakota Fanning from her new movie Now Is Good. I haven’t seen it, but the synopsis sounds super depressing — trust me, if you want to keep enjoying these, you don’t want to know. Still, it’s nice to see that now that she’s over 18, Dakota’s starting to take on some more adult roles. Maybe she can play a hooker with a heart of gold next. Or just a regular hooker. Either works.
I’m a little disappointed by these pictures of Dakota Fanning walking the streets the other day, it’s not that she looks bad or anything, but it was my understanding that eighteen year old women like to walk around showing off their bodies in hooker costumes. At least that’s what Twitter and Instagram have lead me to believe. I feel like I’m getting ripped off. She looks like she’s packing a little lady heat under that loose t-shirt of hers. Nice.
I want to like these pictures of Elizabeth Olsen and Dakota Fanning, but I think they’re a little too wholesome for my taste. I’m all for chicks riding around on bicycles, but I think bikinis are in order don’t you? Bikini bike rides are just so much hotter. I don’t know what else to tell you, I guess I could say that I’ve never wanted to be a bicycle seat more in my life, but that would just be childish. Enjoy.