Here’s everyone’s favorite fake celebrity (and the hottest Kardashian) Kendall Jenner rubbing mud all over herself, I guess as some kind of spa treatment? And honestly, I don’t really get it. I mean, Kendall’s rich parents can afford to buy her a spread in Vogue, but not a special personal assistant whose sole job is applying mud to her body? Hell, I would’ve done it for free!
CELEBRITIES > Bikinis
I guess Kendall Jenner‘s taking a quick break from pretending to be an athlete for Adidas to pretend to be a “professional” lingerie model again. And don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for Kendall that she gets to live out her dream. I just wish it involved wearing more actual lingerie. I mean, how else am I supposed to live out my dream of getting kicked out of every Starbucks bathroom in a 25 mile radius of my mom’s basement? You’ve got to give me more to work with here, Kendall.
I don’t know how or why Adidas decided that Kendall Jenner would be a good spokesmodel — sorry, “brand ambassador” — for them. Considering I’m pretty sure she’s never actually broken a sweat in her life and probably pays assistants to move her legs for her on the exercise bike. But whatever. I’m not going to argue with results. Because this latest shoot has definitely sent my heart rate soaring. Yow!
The first thing I thought when I saw these pictures? What’s that cougar doing posing in a bikini next to Kendall Jenner? Then, after I realized it was just her younger sister Kylie, I figured maybe their rich parents got some kind of a package deal for this photoshoot. 2 for the price of 1. Because according to my sources, these were taken as part of Kendall and Kylie’s “new swimwear line” for Revolve. So, ladies, if you want to look like a Hollywood rich kid/fake model or a plastic teenage cougar, now there’s a swimwear line just for you.
According to my sources, it was #NationalSelfieDay yesterday. And even though I’m pretty sure that just was made up by some genius pervert in order to bank a bunch of new sexy selfies from across the Internet, I’m not going to complain. Because it clearly worked. Here’s Kendall Jenner doing her part, and with pictures this good, maybe we can turn this Selfie Day idea into a once a month thing. Or even once a week. Yow.
Here’s Kendall Jenner pretending to be a real fashion model for some new photoshoot for Vogue, and look, she’s not doing as bad as some of her fellow rich kid/fake models. But I’m pretty sure that’s just because Kendall’s way hotter than the rest of those wannabes. Also, she appears to know how to do more than one face for the cameras. Hey, it’s not exactly a high bar to clear.
I’m not sure what’s happening here. I swear the last post I did on Kendall Jenner was a photoshoot of her showing off a pretty cute booty. But now here she is working out at the gym, and that booty’s looking flatter than a pancake, or at least way flatter than I remembered. Anyway, I’m hoping it’s just a bad angle. Kind of like how I look 30 pounds bigger in pictures than I do in real-life. Right, Mom?
It must be tough to grow up in the Kardashian family, and constantly hearing about Kim and how “sexy” her gross, oversized booty is. It’s got to really screw a person up. But I’m glad to see Kendall Jenner made it out OK. Because here she is showing off her perfectly normal-sized booty in a thong for her latest photoshoot. And if you ask me, I’ll take Kendall’s over that fake stuff any day.
I know I like to rag on Kendall Jenner for being a fake model who only books gigs because of her rich and famous parents, but here she is doing a new photoshoot for La Perla. And the way I see it, if Kendall’s going to pretend to be a professional model, at least she’s pretending to be a lingerie model. I’ll take it.
Here’s Kendall Jenner and Bella Hadid doing their best to convince everyone that they’re both world-famous supermodels and not just a pair of wannabe rich kids by posing for pictures on some super-expensive yacht and jet ski. And yeah, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m still not buying it. Maybe if they went motorboating together instead… Now that would be worth taking pictures of.
Considering Kendall Jenner is hands down the hottest one in that whole terrible family of hers, I keep waiting for her to do something impressive with all that hottie potential. Only instead of making best-selling home videos like her porn star older sister, Kendall just gives us topless selfie teases and boring-ass photoshoots. But I guess being the hottest Kardashian is kind of like being the handsomest blogger or smartest Instagram model: it’s not really saying much. Oh well. I guess we’ll just have to take what we can get. So enjoy.
So Love Magazine is back making hipster videos with celebrities and models, even though the hipster culture is over just like the man bun. Anyway, they got Kendall Jenner channeling Marilyn Monroe very poorly. This is the worse Marilyn Monroe impression I have ever seen. Did they run out of budget for hair and makeup? Fail.
Even though Kendall Jenner is the only Kardashian that is pretty, you would think she’d own that title and come out with kick ass sexy photoshoots. Instead we get this boring spread. Girl needs to step up her game because her oldest sister is the most famous porn star of all time and that is a big booty to fill. Let’s hope she does better next time.
I guess now that Kendall Jenner‘s a “real” supermodel and all, she’s contractually obligated to do photoshoots like this, where she’s just sitting around pouting in see-through shirts. And even though I don’t really get the first part, I can’t complain about the see-through part. Because I don’t know about you guys, but it’s definitely putting a smile on my face right now. Enjoy!