I’ve got some good news. Looks like Kendall Jenner is taking a break from shooting all those dumb videos and lame photoshoots she’s been doing lately to get back to what’s really important: posting sexy bikini selfies on Instagram. It’s all about priorities, people. And I’m just glad Kendall’s finally got hers back on track. Enjoy.
CELEBRITIES > Kendall Jenner
I guess Kendall Jenner‘s parents must’ve bought her a new modeling contract as a Christmas present. Because according to my sources, Kendall’s working for La Perla now, and these are some of the pictures from her latest lingerie shoot for the company. And don’t get me wrong, they’re not bad, but she’s still not exactly supermodel material. Oh well. You get what you pay for, I guess.
So apparently Kendall Jenner pretended to get a huge snake tattoo on her ass for her latest V Magazine cover. I guess to show how “edgy” she is or something. But a snake? Come on. That’s so played out. if Kendall really wanted to make a statement, she should’ve gone with a big tuna instead. Unless she’s just saving that for the other cheek (and the February issue). I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
So, you know how we’re all supposed to pretend that Kendall Jenner is a huge A-list supermodel, and not just another rich kid with loaded parents? Well, she’s such a big “star” (AKA I bet her parents gave them a suitcase full of 20s) that Kendall managed to score herself a second LOVE Advent video. And it’s the big one, too: their official Christmas Day video. Only I just checked the views, and after 2 days and counting, they’re not even close to 250K yet. Meanwhile, a random video of some dude unboxing a smartphone already has almost 3 million. So much for Kendall’s star power, huh? Maybe they should’ve given Day 25 to that guy instead.
First it was Bella Hadid, now it’s Kendall Jenner‘s turn to do her own boring video for LOVE Magazine‘s annual hottie advent calendar. I guess instead of a Christmas theme this year, they decided to go with a rich kid/fake model theme? Anyway, I know we’re all supposed to pretend these girls are the future of fashion or whatever, but I’m sorry, they’re ruining the modeling industry. I thought these LOVE videos were supposed to be sexy, but I’m pretty sure the Little Tuna just fell asleep.
I thought Kendall Jenner was “done” with Instagram after she deleted her account last month. You know, now that she’s officially become a “real” model and everything. But I guess she came back, because this lingerie shot from the 2016 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show just popped up. And that’s not the only thing, if you catch my drift… I’m talking about my pants monster, just to be clear.
I know I like to rag on Kendall Jenner for her fake fashion photoshoots, but she finally did a new one that I actually like. And all it took was her pretending to take lingerie selfies in the mirror — AKA exactly what she does on Instagram whenever she’s not too busy fake modeling. I never paid much attention in English class (clearly), but I’m pretty sure that’s irony, right? Either way, it’s definitely hot, so enjoy.
I was all set to make fun of Kendall Jenner for her latest attempt at playing a real fashion model in Love Magazine‘s Fall/Winter issue. I mean, look at that stupid top hat! It’s like these fashion mags are just trolling us now. But anyway, then I saw Kendall at least went see-through in one of these pictures, and that’s always a good look on her. I just wish she’d realize that and stop trying to play dress-up and start playing to her strengths. Like the fact that she’s a 21-year-old hottie with a banging body. Because otherwise, this is all just a waste. Next!
I know I’m starting to sound like a broken record saying how Kendall Jenner only became a “real” model because of her rich parents, and how she’d just be another hot Insta-wannabe with any other last name. But then she does a photoshoot like this one for Allure Magazine and I’m sorry, I know Kendall’s super-cute but she’s just doing it all wrong. I mean, everyone knows real models don’t wear anything under their see-through dresses. It’s just Fashion Model 101. And Kendall should know better by now.
Here’s my favorite fake model Kendall Jenner pretending to be a real model in the latest issue of Vogue Spain. Sorry, Vogue España. Anyway, listen, even though Kendall’s the only one in that entire family that’s cute (and doesn’t make me want to throw up in my mouth), she’s still no model. It’d be like saying just because I’m the best athlete between me and my mom, I should get to play in the NFL. Life doesn’t work that way. Well, unless you’ve got filthy rich parents, I guess.
Out of all the wannabe supermodels out there, nobody works harder than Kendall Jenner. I swear she’s on the cover of Vogue every other month. It must cost her parents a fortune. Anyway, here she is pretending to be a real fashion model in the September issue, and I’ve gotta say, she does a halfway decent job whenever she’s not totally covered up in clothes. I’m a big fan of the 2-3 cleavage shots. But I still don’t get why Kendall can’t just pick a more realistic career, like becoming a lingerie model or a professional Snapchat hottie. Because some of these are just a total waste. If they don’t make me want to take off my pants, what’s the point? I guess I just don’t get fashion…
Here’s my favorite pair of fake model/rich kid BFFs Kendall Jenner and Hailey Baldwin. According to my sources, they’re on their way into an Adele concert in these shots. But personally, the only show I care about is the one these two were putting on for the paps. Here’s hoping they post a few bikini selfies together for an encore.
Alright, so I know that Kendall Jenner is just another rich kid who got her parents to buy her a modeling career, and I’m supposed to think that’s lame and make fun of her and everything. But right now, I’m a little too busy drooling over these pictures of her and her fellow entitled hottie Hailey Baldwin at a birthday party for her teenage cougar sister Kylie. But don’t worry, I’ll get around to making fun of Kendall eventually. Just give me 30 seconds. 45 tops.