According to my sources, the Teen Choice Awards were held in LA last night and Bella Thorne showed up with her ex or something and blah blah blah, who cares, because I’ve got way more important news to share with you all today. Like the fact that Bella finally #freedthenipple on Instagram. I always knew this day would come! Time to break out the champagne and box of Kleenex I’ve been saving for the occasion.
CELEBRITIES > Bella Thorne
Friday a day ending in -y, which means it’s time for another Bella Thorne hotness update. So here’s Bella hard at work at the gym. And by “hard at work,” I mean producing new booty-focused Snapchat content for her millions of loyal perverts followers, because I’m pretty sure the only muscles she’s actually exercising are from her thumbs hitting the “Send” button. Either way, it’s definitely working for me. Enjoy!
I guess some troll (or manager or director) told Bella Thorne she needed to lose some weight or something, because according to her latest video, the hardest-working hottie on Snapchat has started working out. And I was all set to get outraged on Bella’s behalf and point out how hard she already works and how good she looks, but then I realized something: the more she works out, the more we get videos just like this. So, uh, nevermind.
I know you probably don’t believe it, but I actually do listen to my readers (sometimes), and I know that at least a few of you were starting to get tired of all the non-stop Bella Thorne coverage I’ve been doing. So I decided to give you guys a day off yesterday. But now the break’s over. Because Bella just posted a bunch more bikini and tongue action and booty selfies, and I’m sorry, but I just have to cover that sort of important breaking news. I’m a serious journalist, remember? …What? Stop laughing!
That’s right, it’s time for our daily dose of Bella Thorne bikini action, with some of her signature tongue action as an added bonus. And honestly, I don’t know how any of you guys could possibly be getting tired of this. A hottie who’s famous for doing nothing but dancing around in bikinis and lingerie for the fans practically 24/7? Isn’t that the new American dream?
I know a few of you out there are starting to get tired of these daily Bella Thorne posts, but I also know that for every email I get sent asking me to stop putting up pictures of this professional attention-seeker, there’s probably at least 10 more of you who’d write begging me to put up more pictures. You know, if your hands weren’t already busy doing something else. So to those guys: this one’s for you. You’re welcome.
I got a few emails complaining I am doing too many Bella Thorne posts and that she is overrated. I agree that she is, but she is by far the skankiest, dirtiest looking chick on Snapchat and for some reason I can’t get enough of it. So suck it up people, I’m not going to stop unless Bella becomes religious.
Last week, Bella Thorne brought back her patented money shot action. This week though? She’s taking it to a whole ‘nother level. In fact, I think we might have to create a whole new category for this bikini tongue action of hers: the seven-alarm pants fire. There’s a reason I call her the hardest-working hottie on Snapchat, people. No one else works this hard to deliver for the fans, week in and week out. Enjoy!
You know, we’ve spent so much time on Bella Thorne posing topless lately that it’s been at least a week and a half since we’ve gotten any new tongue action from the hardest-working hottie on Snapchat. That’s got to be some kind of new record. But don’t worry, the streak has officially been snapped, because here’s Bella getting back to business. Phew.
I’m assuming this latest topless Snapchat from Bella Thorne is from behind-the-scenes on the set of some new lingerie photoshoot she got hired to do. At least judging from all the camera equipment around in the background. That, or she finally took me up on my career advice and decided to follow her destiny and start doing porn. Either way, after a tease like this, I can’t wait to see the finished product. Yow!
I hope you guys aren’t starting to get tired of these daily doses of Bella Thorne bathroom selfies, because I’m pretty sure posing half-naked on Snapchat is Bella’s full-time job these days. And if you ask me, it really is the perfect gig for her. I don’t know if anyone’s ever asked her where she sees herself in 5 years, but I sure hope her answer is “still in front of a mirror in a bikini.”
I guess Bella Thorne really took that whole “Bella smells” gossip to heart, because here’s her latest Snapchat: her wearing nothing but a towel and high heels after a shower. And personally, I’m glad to see it. Not because I buy any of that lame gossip crap. I’m just always happy to see more of Bella getting naked. Enjoy.
In case there’s anyone out there who still isn’t convinced that Bella Thorne is the best Snapchat model of all-time, here she is doing all her greatest hits over the course of a single weekend: underboob, tongue action, booty posing in lingerie and a swimsuit. In fact, I’m pretty sure this is what’s called hitting for the Snapchat Hottie Cycle. All I know is, me and the Little Tuna are definitely giving her a standing ovation right now.