Jimmy Kimmel is supposed to be the king of pranks, right? So for April Fools’, Rihanna gave him a taste of his own medicine by… showing up in his bedroom and waking him up in the middle of the night. Sorry, I really don’t see the “prank” here. I’ve been trying to get Rihanna in my bedroom for years now. That lucky bastard.
CELEBRITIES > Rihanna
I’ve always said that Rihanna knows how to dress, and I’m a big fan of this outfit she wore to the M$$ X WT launch in New York. Whatever the f@&k that is. That said, I do have a little constructive criticism: I think next time she should ditch the hat and that jacket. All those weird scribbles are distracting me from ogling Rihanna properly.
I’ve always said that Rihanna knows her best angles. And this latest shot she posted to Instagram just proves it. But as much as I dig Rihanna’s selfies, I think she should really let someone else take the pictures from now on. Just think how much more she could get in the shot. And I’d be happy to volunteer. We can even use her camera. I mean, my phone takes great pictures and all, but clearly hers does too.
Here’s a lesbian fantasy I wasn’t expecting to see any time soon: Rihanna and Salma Hayek. According to my sources, Salma showed up for Rihanna’s first annual Diamond Ball benefit. And while I know it’s just their first year, I’ve got a couple suggestions for next time: if they really want to make this event a success, first off, they should institute a strictly-enforced, lingerie-only dress code. And second, they should invite yours truly. I’m a big hit at parties. Stop laughing. That wasn’t a punchline.
I’ve always said that Rihanna knows how to dress, but this outfit she wore to the British Fashion Awards this year might be her best one yet. I mean, look, I think we’ve firmly established that anyone who wears the same pair of sweatpants 24/7 doesn’t know a whole lot about fashion, but you don’t have to be much of an expert to know that when it comes to Rihanna, the less clothing she wears, the better she looks.
See, now this is exactly what I mean when I say that Rihanna makes such a great role model for young hotties everywhere. And no, I’m not talking about the fact that she showed up to promote AIDS awareness for a MAC Cosmetics event. I mean the fact that she made sure to drop some of that sweet cleavage of hers in the process. Now there’s a hottie who understands what charity is really all about.
Normally, I have to give the fashion magazines props for delivering hotter photoshoots than most of the mens’ mags out there, but yikes. Because these pictures of Rihanna in the December issue of Elle are currently making the Little Tuna go into hiding. I didn’t think it was even possible to screw up pictures of Rihanna topless, but after these, I think she should just go back to being her own photographer again. At least she knows her best angles.
I always say that Rihanna is a great role model for aspiring hotties, and these pictures from the amfAR LA Inspiration Gala Honoring Tom Ford are just another great example. So forget that Ford guy, next time there should be a big fancy party dedicated to Rihanna and what a huge inspiration she’s been, not just to young wannabe attention-seekers everywhere, but also to our collective pants regions. Or I guess you could just lock yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes. That seems like a pretty good way to celebrate these pictures too.
Here’s Rihanna living the good life on a yacht in Cannes. Now I usually get very excited to see Rihanna in barely any clothing, but these bikini pictures suck! Plain and simple. I can’t even comment on them because not only are they terrible quality, she looks like crap too. Sorry, guys. I have to call it like it is. Let’s move along…
I guess that nippleitis epidemic must be going around. Because first it was Minka Kelly, and now Rihanna‘s the latest to come down with a case. And it’s looking like a pretty serious one if you ask me. I’m no doctor, but that said, there’s an easy home remedy that I know of: two sweaty blogger hands applied a few times a day and it’ll clear up in no time. And lucky for Rihanna, I even make house calls.
I’ve always said that Rihanna is a great role model for any wannabe hotties out there, but these pictures from the 2014 CFDA Fashion Awards (whatever those are) prove it. I may not know much about fashion, but I know what I like, and Rihanna in a see-through dress with practically nothing on underneath is something I definitely like. So here’s a fashion rule for all you ladies: when in doubt, little black bars go well with everything.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely digging these shots of Rihanna showing off her sexy stomach and legs hitting the streets of New York, but I can’t be the only one who misses all the sexy Instagrams we used to get from her. If you ask me, I think she needs to go on another bikini vacation as soon as possible. And I’d be happy to tag along as her official photographer. My phone takes great pictures, and I’ve already done a ton of research on her body of work.
I’ve always said that Rihanna is a great role model and these pictures of her heading into some party pretty much clinches it. So for all you wannabe hotties out there, start taking notes, because you could learn something from this: namely, that shirts are overrated. Here’s hoping the trend catches on.
I hope Michelle Rodriguez isn’t the jealous type, because here’s her girlfriend Cara Delevingne hanging out with Rihanna in a shopping cart during Paris Fashion Week for some reason. I’ve never been a big fan of Cara, I don’t really get what makes her Victoria’s Secret material, especially since I post no-name models who are 20 times as hot as she is pretty much every day. That said, I do love Rihanna, so yeah, maybe I’m just jealous. Because clearly it should be me in there fooling around with that perfect booty. I’m telling you guys, life just isn’t fair.