I know it’s still the dead of winter and all, but here’s something guaranteed to melt your popsicle, even if you’re currently stationed at the North Pole. It’s Candice Swanepoel‘s latest set of lingerie and bikini pictures for Victoria’s Secret, and I don’t know about you guys, but temperatures are rising pretty quickly over here. I might have to turn on the AC or hop in a cold shower just to cool down.
CELEBRITIES > Bikinis
I know that the last time I did a post on Nina Agdal, I said that seeing my former #1 favorite hottie in a bikini just isn’t the same as it used to be. Not with all the new Insta-hotties out there competing for our attention. But here’s Nina in a new shoot for something called My Magazine Vol. 5 (whatever that is), and if you ask me, she’s still got it. And yes, by “it,” I mean the ability to turn my pants region into a raging inferno.
Here’s Victoria’s Secret hottie Karlie Kloss doing what she does best: showing off those impossibly long legs of her for the cameras for a shoot for Kurt Geiger. Now, I’ve heard of hotties having legs for days, but personally, that sounds exhausting. So what about legs for hours? Actually, who am I kidding, the best I could do is legs for 30 seconds. Maybe 45 tops. Either way though, Karlie’s guaranteed to wear you out.
OK, so I know that Vita Sidorkina here may look like trouble, but don’t worry, the latest Victoria’s Secret model is 21. I double-checked and everything. So the only way you could get in trouble for drooling over these behind-the-scenes pictures of her at a lingerie photoshoot in LA is if you’re supposed to be working right now. And/or wearing pants. Luckily, I don’t have either of those problems.
I have a feeling I’m not the only one worried that Victoria’s Secret’s latest bikini model Vita Sidorkina might be trouble, because when I put her name into Google just now, it autofilled to “Vita Sidorkina age.” But you perverts can rest easy, because apparently she’s 21, even though she looks about 12. So don’t worry, nobody’s getting any special visits from Chris Hansen for Christmas after this. Phew.
According to my sources, these shots of Miranda Kerr practicing her selfie technique are from the Swarovski Star Raising for the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree in New York. But considering how smoking hot Miranda’s looking in these pictures, that’s not the only thing she raised, if you catch my drift… I’m talking about my pants tent, just to be clear. Yow.
Yesterday, we had some pictures from this year’s (disappointing) Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, and today, I’ve got a couple more behind-the-scenes shots taken backstage. Unfortunately, it’s just a bunch of models sitting around in robes, and not pictures of them all changing, like I was originally hoping. But hey, at least you get to see all the hard work that goes into a show like this. These poor girls must be exhausted from all that sitting around. I hope they got the rest of the week off.
The 2015 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Showcased The Worst Group Of Models In The History Of Victoria’s Secret Fashion Shows
As a professional T&A blogger, I really look forward to the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. It’s my industry’s biggest annual event. Like the Oscars of hotties. Or a trade show, I guess. But their lineup this year was a serious disappointment. I mean, sure, there were still some hotties in the bunch, but when you have social media “stars” like Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid headlining, you’re pretty much ruining the whole event. Just because they have huge Instagram followings doesn’t mean they have engaged followings. Just look at how many books that porn star Kim sold. It was a total flop. And so was the 2015 Fashion Show. What a shame.
Here’s one of my new favorite Victoria’s Secret hotties Sara Sampaio looking smoking hot at some swanky NYC charity event called the Angel Ball (and she’s a Victoria’s Secret Angel, get it?). But if Sara’s really interested in charity, how about putting her money where her mouth is? No, I don’t mean writing a check, anybody can do that. I mean by going on a date with yours truly. I already tried to make it happen through the Make a Wish people, but they just called me an asshole and kicked me out.
According to my sources, the 22nd annual Elle Women in Hollywood Awards were held last night, and one of my all-time favorite hotties Miranda Kerr showed up. But I have to say, I’m a little surprised I wasn’t invited too. I mean, I do more for women in Hollywood than anyone. I give them advice on what to wear (bikinis and/or lingerie and/or nothing), let them know when they need to lose weight or get a boob job, and give great career advice (see: the boob job thing). If that’s not worthy of a lifetime achievement award, I don’t know what is. Oh well. Better luck next year, I guess.
As far as I’m concerned, we don’t do nearly enough posts on Irina Shayk in lingerie in this site… If it were up to me, we’d have new shots of her perfect body twice a day. But I guess that’s a lot of pictures to take and there’s only so many photographers out there. So anyway, here’s Irina’s latest photoshoot, and if she ever needs someone to take more of these lingerie shots, I’d be happy to volunteer. My phone takes great pictures.
I’m 99% sure there isn’t a better combination of words in the English language than the phrase “Candice Swanepoel nude.” And you’ll have to take my word for it, because I’m a professional writer, remember? Stop laughing, that wasn’t supposed to be a punchline… Anyway, here’s Candice’s killer photoshoot for My Town Magazine, and however you want to say it, it just doesn’t get much better than this. Enjoy.
I know that Rachel Hilbert isn’t exactly a household name just yet, but for my money, she’s one of the hottest Victoria’s Secret models out there right now. Here she is in Miami modeling a number of different bikinis for the new Victoria’s Secret Pink collection, and I’ve gotta say, I’m impressed. She’s clearly very talented. Although I’d love to see Rachel tackle something a little more challenging next time, like the double hand-bra. Or better yet, the black censored bar. That’s always been a personal favorite of mine.