ARCHIVES > May, 2005

Gwen Stefani vs. Fergie

May 24th, 2005

Gwen Stefani Z100's 2005 Zootopia Fergie Stacy Ferguson Z100's 2005 Zootopia Black Eye Peas

They played the same night at Z100′S 2005 Zootopia. They look very similiar but who is the original and who is the fake? Better yet, who would I like to bang and who would I pass on to one of my friends? Who am I kidding, I would do both Gwen Stefani and Fergie, yet Gwen edges out Fergie by a yard. I do think Fergie is ripping off Gwen’s look. She should bring back that short skirt that shows off her ass. Her face is not great. However, her tush is A1. So shake that money maker!

Oh ya Fergie, be like Gwen and dump your band. They suck. The only thing good about your new song is you.

Gwen Stefani Ass Legs Fishnets Gwen Stefani Solo Candid Legs

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Vanessa Marcil, Life Is Not Worth Living Anymore

May 24th, 2005

Vanessa Marcil Ass Maxim Photo Shoot
Vannessa Marcil Maxim Photo Shoot Ass

I don’t even want to talk about how hot Vanessa Marcil is, nor how badly I would love to eat that sweet ass. Right now I am filling up the bath tub and plugging in the toaster. So if you don’t hear from me anymore, thank Vanessa.

Kelly Clarkson, Is One Sexy Hog

May 24th, 2005

Kelly Clarkson Wango Tango Americal Idol Winner

I like that new song by Kelly Clarkson “Since You Been Gone”. I have to admit it’s one of the better tunes on the radio. I never disliked her, but I don’t understand what she is trying to show off. This picture is taken from her performance at Wango Tango. Is she trying to show off her potbelly or her fat ass and legs? Come on Kelly! You’re not sexy. It’s not your look. You look like you just finished participating in a hot dog eating contest and you’re about to blow. Stick to the nice sweet country girl look. To me that is sexy. It’s ok that you’re fat. There are many sexy fat chicks. However, they don’t go parading their bellies on stage. Grrr…Now I got that song in my head.

Kelly Clarkson Wango Tango Pics

Hilary Duff The New Linebacker For The Dallas Cowboys

May 24th, 2005

Hillary Duff Candid No Make Up

I wish I could say whose cock did Hilary Duff suck to get to where she is but I can say whose cock did Hilary Duff’s mom suck to get Hilary to where she is(she is underage, not nice).How did this girl get to be so big? Not in weight, that’s another issue but in popularity. One thing for sure is that Hilary Duff is the healthiest looking out of all the Teen Queens. However, she got that fat gene and she better look after it. When she hits 23, she will be huge! She is very stocky now, so imagine 5 years from now. Oh Lord.

What’s with these handbag extensions? These fucking useless Chihuahuas. I think we should put a ban on celebrities and these rats. It’s not cool and no dog should be carried around like a baby. It’s cruel. I have had enough with these annoying pop tarts. Lip synching, talent less hacks! Oh ya! Whose that pregnant guy she’s with? Nice girlie t-shirt there fella.

HIllary Duff Pink Boots Candid Dog Hillary Duff Shopping Mall Tiny Boobs Boyfriend

Britney Spears “Chaotic”, Is A Bust

May 24th, 2005

Britney Spears Chaotic Milf Tank

I have not seen the show, but what I have read about it is absolutely hilarious. What did people expect to see when watching the show? That this was going to be like the Newlyweds. Let me be honest with you, at least Britney Spears and Kevin Ferderline will stay together for many years unlike Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. Britney is the prime example of a woman who is most likely in an abusive relationship. Whether it’s pysical or emotional. You just don’t end up with a loser husband. You’re conned into it. Like a cult. If you think her careers over, and that this is career suicide, you are all wrong. She will always be one step ahead of Jessica and the others. I like Jessica Simpson, but she does not come close to Britney in terms of star power. She may have better people running the show for her, but once Britney cleans up her act. She will be number one again.

Jessica Simpson- ‘These Boots Were Made For Walking’

Jessica Simpson- 'These Boots Were Made For Walking' Dukes Of Hazzard

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, Twins?

May 24th, 2005

Mary Kate Olsen Ashley Olsen Candid Cannes

Ever see the movie, “Twins” with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito? These chicks remind me of that movie. One got the good genes and the other got the crap. I apologize, I don’t know which Olsen Twin is which but I want the prettier one in 5 years. I also want half my money back on the Mary Kate and Ashley Perfume I bought my last girlfriend. I feel kind of ripped off. On the package there were two cute girls.

In about a year or two you will see an Olsen Twin feud. There is no way they are going to remain close. The prettier one will get more attention and the other one will turn to the dark side.

Olsen Twins Cannes Photo Mary Kate Ashley Olsen Cannes Holding Hands

I’d Like To Rip Into Kelly Ripa

May 24th, 2005

Kelly Ripa ABC Upfront Presentation

I like Kelly Ripa. I really really like her. I can watch her on mute anytime of the day. Only problem is that she is on too early in the morning for me. She is cute and she got personality to boot. I think she is the only cute chick that I find sexy. I wish I had something bad to say about her. The only thing I can think of negative is that her sitcom Hope & Faith sucks. Let’s be honest, the writing is terrible. They should have made a show about a girl who lives on a street, where one of her neighbors is a killer, the other is a an ugly transsexual broad with fake tits and the other neighbor would be an underdeveloped mid age woman who cheats on her husband with the lawn boy. What a brilliantly stupid idea. That’s the type of garbage show Kelly Ripa should be in.

Kelly Ripa ABC Upfront Presentation Dress Showing Cleavage Kelly Ripa Flirting WIth Camera Dress Showing Sexy Legs

No More Having To Look At This Anymore

May 24th, 2005

Patricia Heaton Lingerie Breast Implants Caps

Last night was a great night in television. Why you ask? Because Everybody Loves Raymond is over. The worse show on television is finally off. If you’re a man, this show teaches you how to be a wuss and how to lose a woman. If you’re a woman, you most likely enjoy this show and you probably live by the book “The Rules” which by the way is the worse garbage I have ever skimmed through. “Never return a man’s phone call?” See how well that works for you ladies.

Patricia Heaton, I saw on Larry King the other night. She is exactly like her character on the show. I was hoping it was an act but its not. She is so unattractive and bitchy that I think I rather have sex with Rosie. No word of a lie. Bad boobs, bad ears, bad face-lift, bad actress. See ya! Please no reunion show.

Patricia Heaton Finally Droopy Face

Jessica Simpson Dumps Nick for Carmen Electra & Brittany Murphy

May 24th, 2005

Jessica Simpson Carmen Electra Brittany Murphy Dancing in Club Candid

Jessica’s husband of two-and-a-half years, was nowhere in sight. “I asked her where Nick was,” says a friend of Jessica who was there, “and she told me, ‘Oh, Nick and I aren’t together,

Only in America can a cokehead, Playboy bunny and religious chick go out and party. I guess now that Jessica Simpson finally kicked her hooker-loving husband Nick Lachey to the curb, she is partying with the best of them. I feel bad for Nick, it’s only natural to want to fuck hookers and I have been put in situations where it’s very hard to say no. Like last week when the stripper that was dancing for me asked me for an extra 30 bucks for a hand job. It was hard to say no. What’s 30 bucks right? However, I did say no and then got the girl fired for solicitation. If the chick looked like Carmen Electra on the other hand, then I might have added an extra 50 bucks to seal the deal. I am glad to see Brittany Murphy consoling Jessica Simpson in her time of need. Nothing beats a few lines of Aunt Nora to get over an ex.

Jessica Simpson Carmen Electra Brittany Murphy Dancing Threesome Jessica Simpson Nich Lachey Seperated

Natalie Portman Shaved And Hot

May 24th, 2005

Natalie Portman Shaved Head Event

I have a new rule when dating a chick. If she doesn’t look good with a shaved head then see ya later. Natalie Portman is absolutely gorgeous. I knew she was a babe when I saw her in the movie “The Professional”. She was underage but damn cute. A scene-stealer. It’s too bad she is wasting her talent in those stupid Star Wars movies. Sorry! I fell asleep in both of the new ones.

I can’t even write. I am in shock. It’s too fucking hard to believe that a chick with a shaved head is hot. Before she was pretty, now she is fucking smoking. I want to rub it. I want to rub something.

Natalie Portman Shaved Head Candid Event Natalie Portman Candids Shave Head StarWars

Web Cam Fun With Mariah Carey

May 24th, 2005

Hollywoodtuna: So nice to see you Mariah. I hope you’re feeling comfortable.

Mariah Carey: Tuna, you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this.
Mariah Carey on Web cam
HT: Oh Stop!You just sit back and relax, baby girl. I see how you’re looking at me. Get ready for the best session ever.

MC: I can’t control myself any longer. I want to get out of these sweat pants.
Mariah Carey Sexy Pose On Bed
HT: Mariah, just lay back and let the fingers do the talking. You’re in for the ride of your life.

MC: Give it to me, Loverboy! Give it to me!
Mariah Carey Getting Ready to Get Naked

Well, that’s all I can show you guys. Sorry. What a great time last night!

Two Perfectly Healthy Broads

May 24th, 2005

Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Ritchie Leaving Club Skinny

I don’t know what all the fuss is about concerning Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Ritchie’s weight loss. To me they look perfectly healthy and well nourished. If a chick weighs more than 90 pounds, she is fat. That’s a fact. I don’t want any 91 lbs slob riding my tool. Yuck! Nicole and Lindsay continue with your weight loss regimen. You guys can lose another 10 pounds if you ask me.

Here’s a pic of my fat girlfriend Lindsay Lohan winking at me.

Lindsay Lohan Winking Freckles

Hottest Chick Alive Is Greek?

May 24th, 2005

Maria Menounos Picture Entertainment Tonight Fantastic Four Movie

Maria Menounos is one hot Chicken Gyro. She looks like she bathes in olive oil and I bet she smells like fresh oregano. She is absolutely delicious. I only wish she stop doing that ET shit and get some real work. A natural beauty like her should be the number one actress out there. I bet within two years, Maria Menounos will be the top actress and if she is not, she should fire her agent and hire me.

The only bad thing about Maria Menounos is that she lacks the “poutana” look. If I was her agent, I would spend time skanking her up. So she’s not always looking so sweet. I can’t masturbate to sweet. However, I could marry sweet. Maria, I am available.

Maria Menounos Jeans T-shirt Maria Menounos Gorgeous Pic Hot Body

Xtina, My Type Of Whore

May 24th, 2005

Christina Aguilera Xtina dancing with Stripper

I guess when you are engaged to a loser, you spend your evenings partying with slutty dancers. Christina Aguilera is the type of girl you would date but not bring home to mom. She is a sexy phony. She changed her speaking voice, her look and her weight fluctuates like a rhinoceros in a cabbage field. Obviously, she got the fat gene but this doesn’t bother me. I would spread her fat or if it was in season her skinny ass and do things that people who get married only dream of doing.

Christina Aguilera Dancing Like Whore Nipple Ring Christina Aguilera Shaking Ass in Stipper's Face

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