Tommy Lee must have a thing for blonds with terrible breast implants. Tara Reid’s breasts hang as low as my late grandmothers. Pamela Anderson on the other hand, has tits that hold her chin, which is convenient. I must warn Tara Reid that she better use a different needle when sharing drugs with Tommy Lee because look what happen to Pamela and her hepatitis C. Looking at Tommy in these pics reminds me of the last day my grandfather was alive. He looks like shit. Pull the plug already. I think Tara Reid’s manager should send her here to my house for drug rehab and a big saggy titty fuck.

Tara is starting to look old and washed up. If no one helps her she will be two fun bags in a coffin. Stay off drugs kids! Unless it’s for one night with a hot chick and you’re sure to get laid, then snort away and think of me.

The 31-year-old German model and the 42-year-old “Kiss from a Rose” singer tied the knot in a secret ceremony on a Mexican beach Tuesday, Klum’s publicist, Jaclyn Ayers, confirmed Wednesday

Nothing against Seal, but Heidi Klum has odd taste in men. Her previous husband was a wacky looking hairdresser and now getting married with Seal is a friggin Steven King mystery. Is she trying to torture her parents? She is one of the finest women on the planet and she has a cute personality for a model. All the models that I date are for sexual purposes and to show off to my loser friends.

I have to give Seal credit and recommend he should write a book called “How To Brainwash And Marry A Super Model”. Because there is no way he is that charming of a guy.

Haha! Nope that’s not me but it’s Ashley Simpson’s low budget bodyguard. Did Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears take all the big black dudes? As if Ashley needs a bodyguard. The only person that would attack her is the talented singer that was supposed to have been signed by Ashley’s record label but lost their spot to her.
Btw, nice hairdo Ashley, consider a nose job yet? I hate ugly broads who get lucky in life. Only hot chicks are allowed to be successful. Ugly chicks should be sent to Beirut.

If my wife or girlfriend walked out of the house wearing that outfit, the first thing I would do is take her to a rat-infested alley in some shady part of town. Then use a technique that Russian prostitutes do in Greece that my Greek friend’s father told me about, which is taking your belt and tying up the prostitute’s leg to her shoulder for easy access. Actually, with Victoria Beckham, it’s all easy access. What a dirty, dirty girl. I love it! She ain’t the prettiest thing, but she sure knows how to peak one’s interest.

Uh oh! Dirty thoughts”¦ whore on monitor”¦ must stop”¦too early 1:30PM.

All E! – The Alias star is expecting her first child, E! Online and E! News have confirmed.

There’s a baby on the way for Bennifer II. I just pray for Jennifer Garner’s sake it’s a girl. If it’s a boy and takes after his dad, the poor kid will have to get hair plugs too. Incase you guys didn’t know, Ben Affleck has hair plugs. For a guy who has no talent, no looks and no hair, I have to give him credit for managing to make it in Hollywood. He must have sore lips from sucking off Gus Van Sant (gay director of Good Will Hunting).

Enjoy, the media circus that goes along for this ride. To me this is not interesting stuff. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner bore me. They could have a threesome with a midget and have the pictures made public by a cell phone hacker and it would still bore me. Last you hear of these monkeys here.

ISLAMABAD (Reuters) – Hollywood star and U.N. goodwill envoy Angelina Jolie asked on Saturday for increased international help to repatriate more than 3 million Afghans living in Pakistan.

I am sick and tired of celebrities who use their star power for political reasons. Angelina Jolie is a prime example. How can you take this woman seriously? She married Billy Bob Thorton, wore blood to symbolize their love for each other and broke up Brad Pitt’s marriage. For all of you that think Angelina Jolie is hot, well bad news, she only photographs well. She is disgusting in person. My grandmother photographs well too and she has no arms or legs. See her in person and it’s a different story. Angelina Jolie is going to be like Mia Farrow, adopt 20 kids and one day save the world by giving us one big lipped blowjob.

Have $20 000 lying around? If you do, you can have a “Dream Date” with Carmen Electra. What does this include? Dinner with Carmen, Tug n’ rub, and hot crazy sex. Nah, it’s just the dinner but these morons who bid $20 000 actually think they will get to fuck Carmen Electra. Tell you what you monkeys. Give me $20 000 and I will hook you up with the best 20 Asian porn stars for one evening and you will be the dinner. To me that’s money well spent. Sure Carmen Electra is smoking hot, but anyone who pays $20 000 hoping they may get laid is plain retarded. Enjoy your hour long dinner fools.

Been watching this show on Mondays called Las Vegas and I have to say they got some nice biatches. I only watch the show on mute because I am busy doing other things at that time. I am getting off flat-breasted women and now enjoying some full bouncy tittage. Nikki Cox and Venessa Marcil are the reasons to watch this prime time porn. I wish I were the one conducting the casting couch session with these two before they got their break. “So”¦you want to be on TV eh?” Zip.

Ok, that’s enough. I don’t want to make my girlfriend Lindsay Lohan jealous.

Brooke, 39, shares her frightening, self-destructive spiral after giving birth to baby girl ROWAN in Down Came the Rain: My Journey Through Post-Partum Depression . The book chronicles her paralyzing depression and her husband, Chris’, inability to help her.

Ok, maybe Brooke Shields is not broke but man she is everywhere discussing her Post-Partum Depression. What does an out of work actress do? Make up an illness and go on Oprah and pitch their stupid new book about their experience. I don’t know one woman who doesn’t go through a depression after their first baby. I hope she donates all the money that she makes from this book to help women with Post-Partum Depression.Ya right!

It’s rainy outside. I am so depressed. Hmm”¦Think I will stay home. Better yet why don’t I write a book on rain and how it makes me so depressed? Maybe, I will get to be on Oprah.

Oh my my my my! Jessica Simpson cleans up well! Jessica’s entourage is an example of a team of people working together to help the success of their star. The only thing they forgot to do was to show off her big breast. You can’t get it right every time! I don’t even care about those fucking ugly boots. I just like staring into her beautiful eyes. Ya, that’s it eyes. Where’s the paper towel when you need it.

You know she never listens to me anymore. I tell her what she is wearing is a complete mess. Yet she feels she can do what she wants. I hate those big glasses and the boots are silly but you know my girlfriend Lindsay Lohan, the control freak. I like the fact we don’t go out to dinner anymore. She was getting chunky but now Lindsay is all skinny and blond, just the way I like it. She is a selfish lover but I get my way with her once in a while. It’s nice dating an actress, but only for a few more months, then it’s back to banging hot medical students.

How can anyone say that Sheryl Crow is sexy? All I ever heard was that Sheryl Crow has the sexiest mouth. Sexy mouth! Come on! She has no fucking lips. I actually saw this talent less singer live once and midway through the show I was begging my friends to get the fuck out of the joint. Worse concert ever. Save your money folks. I think she is sharing steroids with Lance Armstrong her boyfriend, because Sheryl has the exact same body as me and I am a stud!

Associated Press: Now Hilton, 24, is moving into acting. In “House of Wax,” opening Friday, Hilton does horror. She’ll later surface in “National Lampoon’s Pledge This!” and “Bottom’s Up.” But when it comes to her tabloid-tracked personal life, Hilton insists she’s become more interested in playing housewife than club hopper.
AP: Do you read blogs?
Hilton: What’s that?
AP: Um, they’re these things on the Internet where people write about news and stuff. Hilton: No, I don’t really read anything on the Internet except my AOL mail. I don’t like people who sit on computers all day long and write about people they don’t know anything about.

Paris Hilton doesn’t think other people should have a living. She is the only one who is entitled to one. Paris does it all. She is an actress, singer, model, perfume bottle and porn star. How is one so talented? Her parents must be very proud her. I bet her perfume smells like used tampons. “That’s Hot!” If you ever saw Paris dance you would die laughing. Again, there is nothing attractive about her. I know what I would like to do with her stupid little Chihuahua. Guys, never date a chick that has one of those things. They are not pets. It’s a mental illness. Example: Britney Spears.

Actually got a rise off these photos. Nope that was my cell phone ooops!

Emmy Rossum won the award for “Best Performance In A Feature Film – Leading Young Actress” at the 26th Annual Young Artist Awards for her role in The Phantom Of The Opera!

Have I been in a cave? I made this post because one of my friends mentioned and likes Emmy Rossum. I don’t have a clue who she is or when the movie “The Phantom Of The Opera” came out. Cute girl, but since I am from a different planet I only like #$@^&%$$ girls. If anyone knows any other movie that she is in let me know, because I just feel that I wasted some valuable space and time on her. Here are some Emmy Rossum pics for all of you who don’t know her. I hope you like flat chested woman! I do, but only on Tuesdays.