It’s Friday and I haven’t been out all week. So tonight, I’m going out to a bar with a friend and I’m going to drink to the point that I’m feeling buzzed. Then I am going to hit up a honey or 2 or 3 or 4. Eventually, one will follow through. Then I will bring her to my home, have sex with her for 15 minutes and send her home with cab fair because I’m nice guy. I think I owe it to myself. Have a great weekend.

Oh ya! I love Scarlett Johansson. More Scarlett Here

A few weeks back, there were some bad pics of Victoria Beckham floating around. Her face looked weathered. It wasn’t flattering at all. I’m not going to say that Victoria is pretty because she’s not. However, there’s something extremely dirty about her that turns me on. She looks like a girl that would do anything. That’s her appeal. I can’t explain these qualities. I can only feel them. You guys know what I’m talking about.

Anne Hathaway Nude in Havoc: Pictures and Video
Hayden Christensen On The Beach…With A Girl!!!
Charlize Theron Has A Temper
Doing The Math On Kimberly Stewart
Paris Hilton Not Engaged
Nicole Ritchie Gets Dinged
Tara Reid Needs One Big Movie
30 Secs Into Lindsay Lohan’s Pants
Tom “Cuckoo” Cruise And His Band Of Thetans

This girl scares me in a good way. Jessica Biel looks like she can kick my ass. Not like I’d put up a fight or anything. I wouldn’t mind a little smack from her. I’d enjoy that. They say what kind of dog you have matches your personality. Then Jessica is one mean bitch. It’s nice to see an actress have something other than a rat in their purse.

What’s 10 bucks?

Tyra Banks’ show must be doing really bad if all she does is show and grab her breasts. She even got Jennifer to get on the boob action. Tyra, you going to have to work harder than that. Comparing breast size is not a ratings booster.

I’m making a bold statement and going out on a limb to say that Jessica Simpson’s days are numbered. Her popularity is on the decline. That whole Dukes Of Hazzard promotional tour drove me nuts and most likely everyone else. I knew the movie would be awful and they worked so hard shovelling it in our faces. They even got Jessica to strip. Who knew she would do that for a few million? So it’s over for Jessica and her sister Ashley. Mark my words. The Simpsons are only a cartoon from now on.

What the hell happened to Elizabeth Hurley? I saw her in Bedazzled and was in love with her. That was 5 years ago! I guess by her showing her tits, it distracts us from her face which reminds me of a dude that was hitting on me last night. It’s no wonder why Hugh Grant went out and hired a hooker. I would too if that was staring me in the face each morning.

These are some old outtakes of a Rose McGowan photo shoot. Here’s a classic example of a chick who’s not gorgeous nor is she ugly. However, she’s so sexy being plain. You don’t have to doll yourself up and spend a fortune to look good. Guys like me can see right through that shit. We’ll bang you but we ain’t bringing you home to mommy.

I know I’ll get emails about her dating Marylin Manson and that she wore that skanky dress one time. Blah blah blah. But, I’m strictly talking looks here, not personality.

I’ve mentioned in the past how some photographers are brilliant. They can take any subject and make them look like a million bucks. Here’s an example of one that did the complete opposite. Could he make Lindsay look any worse? The last thing you want to do with Lindsay is give her the natural look. I’ve never seen a chick with so many freckles. I have nothing against red heads but just make sure you have some color to yourself. Pasty white is not the way to go.

I always wondered what cops think when pulling over a celebrity. These guys work hard for a living and put their lives on the line to protect us. Then they pull over these spoon fed celebrities and give them meaningless tickets. I suggest when a male cop pulls over a female celebrity, they get special “services” as part of the fine. That would make a celebrity think twice about speeding.

Kate Beckinsale likes The Beatles. I like The Beatles. Kate Beckinsale exercises. I exercise. Kate Beckinsale doesn’t know who I am. I don’t know who Kate Beckinsale is. So in conclusion, Kate must be a talented actress since I never heard of her. The ones that I don’t hear about usually are. That’s how the industry works.

Follow Up:
I received an email from a reader. He states that Kate is not talented and more importantly she’s a whiner. It’s a long email and the man makes a good case. He also mentions movies that she was in. I’ve seen most of her movies but never took notice of her. I must have been busy with some chick on the couch.

I have this weird fascination with Tara Reid. I don’t think she’s attractive nor do I think she has an ounce of talent. However, I would do filthy things to her that my ex-girlfriend wouldn’t let me do and she let me do everything. I don’t think Tara deserves the reputation that she has. Since when is being a cokehead/alcoholic been a bad thing? I find these girls the easiest to meet. Just stay away from them when they’re coming down. That’s trouble. You want to be out the door when the deed is done.

Ladies, stay away from drug addicts. This does not apply to you.

It’s only convenient that I put two Paris Hilton posts in a row. These are her new Stuff Magazine pics. What a mug on this chick. She has the same beak as Toucan Sam. I’m sure some of you are going to like these pics. Don’t get me wrong, I’d hit that body up in a sec. However, I know a great adult website that has girls with similar body types as Paris but much prettier. Email me and I’ll point you in the right direction.