I know the big Paris Hilton news is about her getting little kids hammered but I think the real discussion is how she can ruin a Ferrari. I was never a car person. A luxury car is an extension of a man’s penis. I see no difference between a Camry and a BMW. Call me crazy. Personally, I like having something reliable to get me to point A to B. When I was 16, I bought a shit box for 100 bucks and it lasted me 2 years without one problem. It was the greatest purchase ever and I beat that car with pride.

If Paris wants to drive around in a Ferrari and ruin it. It gives me a sweet tingly feeling in my belly. There’s nothing I enjoy more than laughing at celebrity trash.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Actors Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher were married on Saturday, capping their celebrated two-year-long older woman, younger man relationship, two celebrity magazines reported on Sunday.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher got married. Are we supposed to care? The only thing I care about is the fact that Ashton married an older woman, who is way past her prime. The only time a younger man should marry an older woman is when he’s broke. Ashton is not broke, so I’ve concluded that he’s an idiot. Ashton, enjoy Demi in 20 years. Actually, I don’t see how you can enjoy her now based on these pics.

Follow up:
Demi & Ashton’s Punk’d wedding

If you think Scarlett Johansson is less than spectacular, check this past Hollywoodtuna post.
August 20th, National Scarlett Johansson Breast Day!

Here it is folks. The moment you’ve all been waiting for. Britney Spears post pregnancy. Happy now?

*There was a pic of Kevin giving the paparazzi the finger but who cares about that.

It seems that Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie are now friends again. Big deal! Girls always get mad at each other, don’t talk for months and then make up. Should that be news? I’ve had the same friends since I’ve been 9 years old. That’s the difference between guys and girls. Guys are loyal. We don’t fight over petty things. If my best friend sleeps with my girlfriend, I am ok with that. No big deal. Better him than some sweaty guy at a club with herpes.

Update On Nicole Ritchie’s Nose
I received an email from a reader and she said that her nose changed when she lost 100+ lbs. Thanks for the heads up on that and good job with losing the weight. It’s a life long commitment and you should be proud of yourself. Keep up the hard work.

Cocky Canadian J.D. Fortune took both frontman honors and a new Honda Civic (not exactly a rock-star car) in this week’s season finale.

I watched the first episode of Rock Star: INXS and knew from the beginning who would win. That’s why I stopped watching it. There’s no point investing in a TV reality show when you’re right 100% of the time. I can’t believe they gave this guy(J.D Fortune) a Honda Civic for winning. It’s an insult. It’s like when I was 16, I delivered pizza and got a 10 cent tip from some loser and shot it right back in his face. That’s what he should do and go solo.

I never thought I would say this but Pamela Anderson looks good in these pics. Mr. Photographer is a genius. If you were to compare these pics to these pics you would understand why. The old Pam is back and I’m wanting more. Actually, not really. I can just download a porn and see chicks that look like her do things that I don’t feel like discussing right now because I haven’t had sex in 3 weeks.

What’s the fascination with Charlotte Church? Who is she and name me one of her songs? She must be exceptionally gifted because I eat girls like this for lunch. There’s nothing interesting about this girl other than her bubbly figure. That’s if you’re into that sort of thing and I know there’s plenty of you guys out there who are. So sit back, grab your Doritos and click the larger version of this pic.

If I had a date and the girl came to the door dressed in the same outfit as Kelly Monaco, I’d be very happy. This is my favorite look on a chick. You can’t go wrong with it. Even if you’re not the prettiest girl but you can pull this off, I’d give ya a shot. Kelly Monaco‘s face is kind of odd but that body is so rockin, who cares?.

There’s a fashion tip to my female readers. Blue jeans and a white tank top is the way to go. Don’t listen to Cosmo or whatever junk mag, listen to Hollywoodtuna.

Nicole Ritchie is the new Teen Vogue Cover Girl. I will never understand how magazines run their companies. Nicole, should be the last person considered. Teens read this crap and look up to her as a role model. They should look at her as an example of what not to become. I’m all for skinny girls but there are limits. Even I have limits. I will not have sex with a girl that has a body of a 15 year old. It hurts. They have sharp bones. Ouch! The only compliment I can give Nicole is her nose job. I might be wrong but if you lose 40 lbs, I don’t think a nose would change that much. If there’s any fat-turned-skinny people out there, let me know if your nose changed.

I use to think Jennifer Love Hewitt was a cool chick but after watching “The View” today my mind has changed. She’ s out promoting her new TV series “Ghost Whisperer”. During the interview she discusses how she had two ghosts in her house and that she had to hire a Ghostbuster to get rid of them. She even claims that one ghost followed her home one night. Either Jen is completely nuts or the show is that bad, that she’s making a last ditch effort to save it. I bet the show is off the air in two months. The only thing “whispering” will be the people talking about how useless her career has become. By the way Jennifer, that was not a ghost following you home. That was me.

I would write something, but I’m having a hard time because I’m speechless. So here it goes. Shannon Elizabeth can make a grown man cry. She made me cry.

Keeping on the bikini theme, we got Hollywood’s oddest couple. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. I really have nothing to say about these two other than they bore me to pieces. Isn’t it thrilling how Marc is taking pictures of the paparazzi? Tough guy.

I’m a little late on this post but after seeing these pics of Mariah Carey, I couldn’t help myself but to comment. I like to have a good time. I also like to go to the beach and have fun. What I don’t like to do is look like an idiot doing it. I’ve never said anything bad about Mariah but if my body took a turn for the worse, I’d be covering that shit up. The last place I would go to is the beach. Mariah should concentrate on a little less booze and a little more swimming. Her fake breasts alone, ain’t doing it for me. I prefer nice asses. You can tell a lot from a girl by her ass. I once picked up a skinny girl at a bar and with her clothes on, she had a smoking hot body. When removed, I was shocked. She had a 70-year-old ass. It was the weirdest and scariest thing I have ever seen. So don’t judge a book by its cover… Actually, screw that thought. Judge a book by its cover and if you get unlucky, so be it.

Thanks to DoubleViking for the Mariah Carey Heads Up. Check out their site HERE.