Because it’s Friday afternoon, and there’s no better way to end the week than with Candice Swanepoel in lingerie, here’s the smoking hot supermodel’s latest shoot for Victoria’s Secret. Oh wait, did I mention Candice is also in a bikini and brought along a few friends? I guess I was wrong, there is a better way to end the week. So pack up a little early today and enjoy. You’re welcome.
ARCHIVES > June, 2013
Don’t Stand Next To Kate Upton (IDLYITW)
In today’s important bikini-related news, Hooters held their annual swimsuit pageant recently, which is a pretty big deal for a professional bikini blogger like myself. Of course, it would’ve been much easier for me to cover this momentous event if I’d been invited, or better yet, asked to judge. Anyway, as far as I can tell from the cheap seats, the girl from Kentucky won. I think they made a pretty good choice, but without being able to get up close and personal with the competition, it’s hard to say for sure. Not that I’m bitter or anything. I just think it’s important the best women wins.
Now that Erin Heatheron‘s a Victoria’s Secret Angel, she’s got a few more responsibilities. And it goes beyond just looking ridiculously hot in lingerie — although judging from this shoot, she’s already got that part down. No, Erin’s also expected to represent the brand in other ways, like meeting up with certain bloggers for lunch dates. Otherwise I’m pretty sure they take away your wings. OK, so I know that’s BS, but shhh, don’t blow this for me. Did I say lunch dates? I meant bedroom dates.
The Kate Upton hotness continues with this latest spread for Vogue Brazil. And as much as I’m digging the usual cleavage shots, I’ll never understand fashion magazines. I mean, I get that black-and-white makes everything classy, but if I was running the show, I’d never let Kate wear a jacket. Then again, I’d also fight for no clothes at all, but I understand that sometimes you’ve got to pick your battles. Anyway, enjoy.
I don’t think I’ve done a post on Dania Ramirez in years, and I kind of forgot how hot she was. It’s hard keeping track of all the half-famous hotties out there, especially when they won’t return your emails or Tweets, no matter how many times you ask nicely for personalized bikini pictures. It doesn’t matter though, because after this bikini shoot, I’m going to have a hard time forgetting about Dania now. I’d better stare at these pictures for a few more minutes just in case though.
Now that the Star Trek movie came and went, I was a little worried that we’d seen the last of Alice Eve and her awesome cleavage for a while. But luckily I was wrong, and here she is at something called the Serpentine Gallery summer party in London. I’d be disappointed I wasn’t invited, but I’m pretty sure my allergies would’ve acted up pretty badly if I’d been there anyway. I’m having trouble breathing just from looking at these pictures, and my pants are getting tight too.
I know I’ve been ragging on Olivia Munn for dressing too classy lately now that she’s become an “actress,” but I think she misunderstood me. See, I meant she should go back to wearing those dumb, sexy nerd costumes again, like a half-naked Princess Leia or Wonder Woman or some crap like that. I don’t really care which as long as it involves Olivia and a whole lot of skin. And I’m sure you nerds will agree.
After a few weeks off, I’m happy to report that it looks like Vanessa Hudgens is back to her old ways, showing off her booty in a pair of leggings as she goes… somewhere. OK, so I’m not really sure about the where part since I pretty much stopped digging as soon as I came across the pictures. But don’t knock my reporter skills, because I still managed to answer the three most important questions in journalism: who, what, and how does her booty look in those leggings?
In case you’re wondering who this busty cougar is, Carol Vorderman is a British TV presenter. And I’ll let you guess the two huge reasons why she’s still got a gig even though she’s 52; those things were made for TV. Supposedly Carol’s planning some solo flight around the world soon, which seems like a bad idea to me. She should obviously be going by sea instead. Not only would those funbags double as personal floatation devices, but she could also bring somebody along who knew how to motorboat just in case. I’m willing to volunteer.
Did you guys know that Hollywood Tuna’s Babe Of 2012, Victoria Justice was on tour promoting her music which is sadly catered to tweens and not horny men like me? I have to admit that Victoria has disappointed me this year, because she has all the tools to steal Miley Cyrus‘ thunder, but she doesn’t use any of them. Sure, those tight spandex look hot, but it’s time Vicky grows up and sings songs about shaking her ass and grinding her hips. Anyway, I provided some fan footage from her show. There might be a few moments where she utilizes her sexuality, but not enough for me to drop my drawers.
If you like super sexy skinny chicks you will love Brazilian model Mariana Almeida. According to photos she has uploaded to her Twitter account, Mariana has two little dogs, enjoys eating at In-N-Out Burger and may or may not have a boyfriend. That’s all I got, but don’t worry I now follow her and will soon know everything I need to know to make her my girlfriend. Wish me luck.