I’ve seen a lot of handbras over the years, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hockey glove bra before like the one Audrina Patridge is wearing here for some magazine called The Fourth Period. It’s not bad, but it offers way too much coverage for my liking. If they wanted to stick with the hockey theme, why not go with pucks? Or even better, a hockey net. Clearly this is why I need to go into the photoshoot consulting business.
ARCHIVES > September, 2013
The Worst Rihanna Picture Ever! (Fishwrapper)
I know it’s only two pictures, but these new shots of the UK’s reigning Queen of Boobs Lucy Pinder are so good, they’re worth 20 from any busty American model. At least I think that’s the going exchange rate. For some reason, I’m having a hard time concentrating right now.
Once again, here’s Selena Gomez putting on a great leg show in order to model sneakers for Adidas. I don’t know whose bright idea it was to put these two together, but I just don’t get it. If you ask me, it’s a complete waste of Selena’s talent. I mean, just look at this booty. You could sell guys pretty much anything with that, cars, booze, a second mortgage. So it’s time for a new marketing strategy. The first step is thinking bigger, the second is less clothing, and the third is giving me 10% of the dump trucks full of money that brings in.
Once again, Alexa Vega is continuing to impress me. Here she is at the 2013 ALMA Awards showing off her amazing cleavage. So now that we know that she has a great rack, I’m curious about that Latina booty. That said, I’m requesting that some creepy Paparazzi dude follow Alexa to the gym and get a shot of her behind in yoga pants. Thanks in advance.
As you guys know, Courtney Stodden is my new favorite nobody and is probably the best dressed wannabe celebrity in Hollywood. However, no 19 year old chick should wear lip liner that is darker than her lipstick, unless she wants to look like an old mahjong playing granny. Yes, even though I’m all about chicks in sexy latex and big fake boobs, I do know my do’s and don’ts when it comes to putting it all together.
Meet our latest no-name hottie: Aarika Wolf. And no, that’s not a typo. She apparently spells Erika with three As. But despite the fact that you’d expect a chick with a name like that to do photoshoots wearing glasses with no frames and oversized t-shirts, instead I’ve got this massive collection of bikini hotness for you guys. Still, I’m thinking this girl could really go places if she changed her name. Like to, say, Aarika Tuna. Doesn’t that sound much better?
I have a feeling that if Amanda Cerny plays her cards right, she’s going to be very popular soon… with my help of course! So far she is on the right track by acknowledging me on Twitter. However, to really get in my good books we need to start tweeting sweet nothings and follow each other. I feel that there is a chemistry between us, she just doesn’t know it yet.
It’s nice to see that the Paparazzi finally used a proper lens on his camera and managed to get decent quality photos of Joanna Krupa sunbathing in her backyard. Even though, it would be much easier for him just to walk right into her home since we all know that this is yet another staged candid photo set. I don’t understand why they keep doing it, but I’m not going to complain too much because Joanna has a ridiculously tight body and I’d be an idiot to discourage her from showing it off the way she wants to.
Meet French model Fanny Anselme. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find out much about Fanny online, other than that she looks seriously good in a bikini. But I’m guessing you guys already put two and two together on that one. So otherwise, the biggest bit of trivia I’ve got for you is that Fanny’s got hazel eyes. I’m a little skeptical though, because I don’t know how anyone was able to stop looking at her body long enough to figure that one out. All I know is I haven’t managed to confirm it yet.
I guess all the real models got wise to the whole fake ad campaign plan, because now here’s former Playboy Playmate Amanda Cerny modeling for 138 Water. If you ask me though, this might be their hottest fake ad yet. And after all the free publicity I’ve been giving these guys, these pictures gave me a great idea. It’s time I got in on this genius “marketing” strategy by co-sponsoring an event, like a wet t-shirt contest. I’ve even got the perfect venue in mind: my bedroom. Let’s make it happen.