Tiger Woods‘ Girlfriend Is Working Hard (TMZ)
ARCHIVES > May, 2017
I don’t know how you guys spent your Memorial Day weekend, but after
creeping researching Emily Ratajkowski‘s Instagram, I can tell you with 100% confidence that it wasn’t half as good as the lucky bastards that got to party with Emily in a bikini. And honestly, I don’t get it, how come when I try to invite hotties over for a pool party, they all turn me down? Do you think it has something to do with my Speedo, or the fact that all I’ve got is a kiddie pool in my mom’s front yard? We may never know.
Because Bella Thorne can take and post a selfie of her wearing pretty much anything and it qualifies as important breaking news, here’s the latest from the hardest-working hottie on Snapchat. Looks like she went with short shorts and showing off her sexy stomach today. Good choice. I can’t wait to see what she does for an encore tomorrow. Enjoy.
Now this is disappointing. Just when I was finally starting to come around on Kristen Stewart and admit she’s been looking kinda hot these days, she apparently went and cut off all her hair. I assume it’s for a movie, because otherwise she needs to fire her hairdresser ASAP. Either way, now she just looks like a younger, grumpier Pink. Too bad.
I always knew getting on Instagram would be good for Elle Fanning, and I’m glad to see she’s finally embracing the whole young hot nobody lifestyle. Here she is sexy-dancing for the camera, there’s even a bonus bikini picture. I mean, no one’s going to confuse her for Bella Thorne just yet, but this is a definite step in the right direction. I’m so proud. …Pride’s one of the emotions you can feel in your pants region, right?
In case you haven’t been paying attention, my former #1 favorite hottie Nina Agdal has been making a serious hotness comeback lately, and here’s a little sample of her latest work: her posing in a swimsuit, with a cute pooch, topless. It’s pretty much Nina’s Greatest Hits. The only thing we’re missing is her posing in lingerie and/or with her favorite blogger. Maybe next time.
Alexis Ren has always been one of my favorite Insta-hotties, so I’ve never going to complain about any excuse to see new pictures of her and that perfect booty of hers squeezed into a swimsuit. But there’s something about those mirrored pictures that are giving me a headache. Maybe my body just can’t handle double the Alexis hotness. That or I drank too much yesterday. Yeah, it’s probably that last one…
I always knew Madison Beer was going to be a big star (the Little Tuna’s never wrong when it comes to these things), but even I’m a little surprised she’s blowing up this big this fast. Here she is with her very own busty covershoot for Cosmopolitan. And sure, it’s just the Turkey edition, not the US one, but with pictures this good, I predict we’re going to be seeing Madison everywhere pretty soon. Or at least, I sure hope so.
You guys know that I do my best to stay up-to-date on all the latest hotties and wannabe celebrities out there. But every once in a while, I miss one. Like this hot topless blonde here. According to my sources, she goes by Halsey, she’s a singer and she’s got a new album coming out this week. Anyway, I can’t tell you if her music’s any good, but if these pictures are any indication, I think she’s definitely got what it takes to be a big star: a nice body and a willingness to show it off for the cameras. That’s the kind of talent you can’t teach. Or auto-tune.
I’ve been jealous of a lot of weird sh%t over the years, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve ever been jealous of a giant plastic skull. Then again, I’m jealous of pretty much anything that gets to be within 5 feet of Victoria Justice and that perfect body of hers, including that swimsuit she’s currently got on. But who knows. Maybe in my next life, I can come back as one of her bikinis. Fingers crossed!
I’ve gotta say, I’ve always been really impressed by Ariel Winter. While all the other former child actors out there are busy trying to have “careers” or become pop stars or something, Ariel here is going a different route: future professional hot nobody. And I fully support it. Anyway, here she is spending her Memorial Day hard at work putting on a bikini booty show. Her tongue action needs a little work, but as long as she keeps practicing and working hard, I’m sure she’ll get the hang of it eventually.