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The Howe Twins Bust Out On Their Birthday

May 24th, 2013

Here’s my favorite pair of awesome pairs, Carla and Melissa Howe, out celebrating their birthday by rocking some serious cleavage, drinking straight from the bottle, and letting some lucky girl pretend to motorboat them. I think I just figured out what my own birthday wish is going to be this year. So enjoy the twin hotness, because from everything I’ve seen in movies, as soon as I blow out that candle, it’s going to be all mine.

» view all 28 photos

Photos: WENN.com

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Tagged: The Howe Twins

Kate Upton’s Profile Gives Her Away

May 24th, 2013

I guess Kate Upton is trying to lay low while she figures out how to steal the hottest bustiest blonde title away from Helen Flanagan, because here she is going relatively incognito. I know most people wouldn’t recognize Kate while she’s wearing clothes, but it’s still not a great disguise. Those funbags are a dead giveaway, especially for someone who’s spent so much time studying them like me. So Kate might as well just change into a bikini, since she’s not fooling anyone anyway. Please?

Photos: PacificCoastNews

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Tagged: Kate Upton

Malena Costa Will Soon Be Moaning For Herbal Essences

May 24th, 2013

I don’t know a lot about Malena Costa other than that she’s hot and that she’s been named the new face for Herbal Essences in Madrid, which means we’ll soon be getting to see her O face on TV. Anybody know if there’s a way to set my DVR to record only Spanish commercials? I’d better call my cable provider. I definitely don’t want to miss this.

Photos: PacificCoastNews

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Tagged: Herbal Essences, Malena Costa

Melissa Riso Bikini Pictures

May 24th, 2013

Let these pictures be a lesson to all you wannabe models/actresses, forget agents or auditions. The best way to get noticed is to do an awesome bikini photoshoot, like Melissa Riso here. And the second-best way is to start a no strings attached relationship with a blogger. So Melissa should probably give me a call. You know, just to make sure she’s got all her bases covered. It’s pretty competitive out there.

Photos: FameFlynet

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Tagged: Bikini, Melissa Riso

Anna Faris’ Impressive T-shirt Mounds

May 24th, 2013

We don’t get to see much of Anna Faris on this site, which is a shame, because she’s a pretty underrated hottie as far as I’m concerned. I mean, just take one look at those T-shirt mounds and tell me why the paparazzi aren’t following her every ~~move~~ jiggle, or staking out her beach vacations. Anyway, I don’t know why Anna isn’t more famous, but I’d like to change that. Isn’t it about time we gave her a pass on all those terrible Scary Movies and focused on what’s really important: her funbags?

Photos: PacificCoastNews

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Tagged: Anna Faris

Doutzen Kroes Bikini Swimwear Pictures For H&M

May 24th, 2013

I’ve probably mentioned this before, but Doutzen Kroes has the second-best supermodel booty in the world — after Candice Swanepoel, of course. So I was glad to see that H&M made sure to feature Doutzen’s best asset in their swimwear photoshoot. I just wish they’d given us more than one picture of it. It’s like going to the Louvre and only being allowed to see the Mona Lisa for two seconds. Luckily though, we can all stare at this shot for as long as we want. I don’t know about you, but I plan on clearing my schedule for the rest of the day. This just became my top priority.

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Tagged: Bikini, Doutzen Kroes, Swimwear

Selena Gomez Likes Them Real Young!

May 24th, 2013

So Selena Gomez won’t go out with me, but apparently she will go on a date with a 14-year-old, because here she is trying to dodge the paparazzi while she grabs dinner with Jaden Smith. Real nice. Anyway I get it, I’d be covering my face too if I was with a 14-year-old. Actually, scratch that, I’d be in jail. So I’d probably be covering something else, if you know what I mean.

» view all 27 photos

Photos: WENN.com

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Tagged: Selena Gomez

Penelope Simpson Lingerie Pictures

May 24th, 2013

Here’s super cute and curvy model Penelope Simpson modelling Bravissimo Lingerie. You know there are so many lingerie companies out there now, it’s really hard to keep track of them all, but I guess that’s a good thing since we get to discover all these unknown hotties. Anyway, Penelope has all the right stuff, in all the right places which I believe are the ideal prerequisites for a future ex-Mrs. Tuna. Email me.

» view all 16 photos

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Tagged: Lingerie, Penelope Simpson

Every Single Hot Babe Showed Up To amfAR’s 20th Annual Cinema Against AIDS

May 24th, 2013

When I woke up this morning and saw that every single sexy model, actress, and famous-for-nothing babe showed up to amfAR’s 20th Annual Cinema Against AIDS event in Cannes, I was extremely pissed off that I was not invited. I guess, the invitation must have got lost in the mail because I’m sure that Paz Vega, Stacy Keibler, Eva Herzigova, Kylie Minogue, Izabel Goulart, Olivia Palermo, Karly Kloss, Rosario Dawson, Jessica Chastain, Alessandra Ambrosio, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Isabeli Fontana, Petra Nemcova, Toni Garn, Lily Donaldson, Karolina Kurkova, Irina Shayk, Jessica Hart, Julia Restoin Roitfeld, Milla Jovovich, Bianca Balti, Selita Ebanks and Tamara Ecclestone would have wanted the sexiest celeb blogger in the world there. At least that is what I’m telling myself.

» view all 52 photos

Photos: WENN.com

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Alessandra Ambrosio Is Working It Good

May 24th, 2013

So apparently Alessandra Ambrosio is in town at Cannes too, because here she is at the All Is Lost premiere. And I’m guessing she took one look at what Irina Shayk was wearing and had to go home and change, because Alessandra definitely stepped her game up for the Roberto Cavalli yacht party afterwards. Sure, I would’ve preferred a bikini since they were going out on the water, but let’s all just be glad the supermodel MILF didn’t channel her inner mom and show up in a life jacket instead.

» view all 46 photos

Photos: WENN.com

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Kelly Brook Is Somewhat See Through

May 24th, 2013

I swear, it’s like two steps forward, one back with Kelly Brook. After covering it up for months, she finally unleashed the cleavage earlier this week, but now she’s covered it up again at the Lorraine High Street Fashion Awards. Thankfully, at least she went see-through on the top, so these pictures aren’t a total bust. But somebody needs to have a talk with Kelly and let her know this madness has gone on long enough. My livelihood depends on it.

» view all 17 photos

Photos: WENN.com

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Tagged: Kelly Brook

Another Reason To Hate Adrien Brody

May 24th, 2013

If having banged Elsa Pataky or being the youngest actor ever to win an Oscar or looking like Pinocchio wasn’t enough to hate Adrien Brody, well here is one more: Lara Lieto. I don’t know much about this chick who has amazing tennis ball sized shape boobies, but I do know that Adrien gets to rub his big schnoz in between them. Dude must thank his mother daily for putting him through acting school.