Looks like there was yet another big celebrity party I wasn’t invited to last night, because I can’t be trusted to follow dress code or around hot models and an open bar. This time, it was the 30th annual Night of Stars, and speaking of dress code, I think Kate Upton must’ve missed something in the invitation. Because as good as those funbags look stuffed into a tight dress, everybody knows her cleavage is the real star here. And I’m probably just as bummed as the organizers that she didn’t bring it. Who can’t be trusted now, huh?