You know, I’ve been calling my favorite nobody Courtney Stodden a teenage cougar for months now, but after seeing these pictures of her getting handsy with another old dude a few weeks after separating with the first one, I’m starting to realize that I was way off. She’s actually the complete opposite of a cougar. What’s that called again? Oh right, a gold digger. Anyway, at least now I finally understand why she hasn’t been returning any of my tweets or sex tape requests: I’m not old enough for her. Phew, and I thought it was personal or something.