OK, so I know this probably wasn’t what you were hoping for when you heard we had pictures of Jessica Biel half dressed, but I think the sight of Jessica and her booty stuffed into a tight dress still makes for a pretty good consolation prize. Anyway, I would’ve thought an A-lister like Jessica would have an assistant to help her out with this type of thing, but since she doesn’t, I’d like to volunteer. Sure, it might take me a couple minutes (or hours) to help her zip up, but as you guys probably know, I’m very meticulous and kind of a perfectionist when it comes to my work. Don’t laugh. That wasn’t supposed to be the punchline.