It was only a matter of time until someone wrote a song about Paris Hilton. Comic Mark Manne put together a little tribute called “Everything That is Wrong with America Today (a k a The Paris Hilton Song).” Here are some of the lyrics:
“Paris, I want to hit you in the face with a bat/Because you pampered your dog, then got rid of her when she got fat/Paris, do you sleep on a big pile of cash?/You must have paid the studio some money to put you in the ‘House of Wax’/’Cause you got no talent, you can’t act, and you can’t sing/You’re not that pretty, you’re not that hot, you’re not even interesting/You’re so mean, all bathed in green, a sex machine, until your cellphone rings, until your cellphone rings/Paris Hilton, why do I even know your name?/Is it the short skirts? No! ‘The Simple Life’? No! It’s cause you’ll have sex with anything/You’re so mean, all bathed in green, an amateur porno queen/Go away, just go away from here, go away.”
You know who else lacks just as much talent as Paris Hilton? Mark Manne for write a piece of crap song about her. Guess what Mark? Paris is not the only thing wrong with America.