Apparently the 2015 Glamour Women of the Year Awards were held last night and for some bizarre reason, I wasn’t invited, even though everybody knows I’m a tireless advocate for women’s rights… to wear bikinis 24/7. On the plus side, Kate Hudson showed off some of her cute MILF cleavage on the red carpet, but hopefully next year, she’ll be able to show up in just a bikini instead of this big heavy dress. And also have gotten a boob job. What? I just want what’s best for Kate and her career. And the Little Tuna. It’d be a win-win.