I’m not sure what’s happening to Jessica Simpson but if you look closely at these pictures, you’ll notice that her face is taking on a new creature-like form and it has nothing to do with those ugly sunglasses she’s wearing. It has to do with her face blowing up like a Cabbage Patch Doll. Now maybe I’m overreacting a bit and Jessica is only retaining a little water but you have to understand that I thought Britney Spears was once retaining a “little” water and look what happened to her. Whatever the case may be, right now, this second, I’d still like to peel those tight black jeans off her.

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