It’s apparent to me now why Paris Hilton spoils that little rat dog of hers so much. She must feel guilty about the way she treats the poor thing. I sometimes wonder if she realizes she’s carrying around a little dog or some kind of Tijuana rat-skin handbag. Changing subjects, I’d just like to point out the horror I felt when I realized that these pictures of Paris in sexy tight jeans actually made something in my pants move. Thankfully she rarely wears jeans, so I’m still going to heaven when I die.

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