Is Jessica Simpson Drunk On Love?

November 22nd, 2006

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After a false start, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer are giving dating a try again. The couple met up for an hour-long lunch at Paradise Cove Beach Café in Malibu, California, on November 12.

“She didn’t eat much,” a witness says. “She drank double vodka cranberries. When they got up, Jessica was rubbing his back. You could definitely tell they were on a date.” Mayer left a $40 tip on the $100 bill.

That John Mayer is very smooth, and seems to have an arsenal of tricks up his sleeve to win Jessica Simpson‘s love. The guy is a multi-million selling recording artist. You’d think that in itself would have most girls kissing his feet, but wait, there’s more. By leaving such a huge tip, it shows her that he’s generous too. More points for Johnny boy! And finally, what better way to win a fair maiden’s heart than by getting her liquored up on double vodkas in the middle of the afternoon! I’ve used this same technique myself when wooing a lady, and the outcome is guaranteed nudity. I prefer to buy them triples though. I don’t like leaving anything to chance.

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