When Hilary Duff stepped out last year with a long face, it wasn’t because the singer-actress was down in the dumps “” it was that her newly veneered teeth were too big for her mouth! “She probably had her teeth recontoured or reshaped to fit her smile,” says Apa of Hil’s smaller, narrower smile. “Now you look at her cute smile rather than focusing on her large teeth. She looks much prettier!”
When I first read this article the first thing that popped in my head was that maybe yesterday’s reports were untrue about Joel Madden being dumped by Hilary Duff. Maybe he was the one who actually did the dumping after she developed some bad, um, oral habits back when she wielded those big chompers (yeah, you know what I’m talking about)?
But that can’t be true. No way. No one in their right mind would ever dump Hilary — even if she is prone to using teeth. So here’s my theory about what really prompted the split: she tolerated her poseur boyfriend until she got her teeth fixed, and once she did, she realized she could do a lot better. And when I say “a lot better,” I’m talking about yours truly. In fact, as I type this I’m sitting by my phone waiting for Hilary‘s inevitable call. Yup, it’s great being me.