Here we have none other than the Queen of Porn herself, Jenna Jameson making an appearance at The EXXXotica Adult Film Convention. I’m glad Jenna got an invite, because I didn’t! I guess it must have gotten lost in the mail or something. Hmpf! I thought Jenna and I were friends! Friends take friends to porn conventions. It’s a rule.

Anyway, had she taken me, I’m sure she would have introduced me to all kinds of eligible and giving young ladies. A single guy like me needs a date, and who better to date than a porn star. I’d much prefer the newer ones who haven’t gotten around too much just yet. And a university degree wouldn’t hurt either. There’s nothing like a porn star with a higher IQ than your own. Who am I kidding? I’d take what I could get. Hell, even 45 year old fluffers would do the trick at this point in my empty social calendar.

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