What does Paris Hilton like to do with her free time? Help the homeless? No. Save the children of Africa? No. What she likes to do is lie around in a bikini and look at pictures of herself. Now I know that isn’t really breaking news. In fact, you’re probably wondering why in the hell I’m even reporting on it. Well, even though I can’t stand Paris and what she stands for, I’m still a sucker for a chick in a bikini. Forgive me.

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