When I heard that there were possibly pictures of Modern Family hottie Sofia Vergara floating around the internet wearing nothing but her bikini, I was instantly intrigued. All I could imagine were those big MILF breast bouncing around a swimming pool, looking like two manatees making love in the sun. Unfortunately, she seems to be doing a pretty good job hiding her big latina chesticles from me. What a prude. I thought that latin women were supposed to be more comfortable with their bodies. What the hell is this crap?

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Photos: Bauer-Griffin