I don’t know what the hell is going on with this Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber romance crap, but I don’t like it. She’s only eighteen and he’s like twelve or something, this isn’t right. Women aren’t supposed to be with younger dudes, she should be with someone who’s older than her, like a celebrity blogger who knows how to treat a lady. ‘Would you care for some spray cheese with your cucumber my lady?’ Works every time. Call me.

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