The other night I was minding my own business hanging outside a hotel when a big black SUV shows up, and lo and behold Cindy Crawford gets out wearing a tight red dress. I never get star struck, but Cindy was my childhood fantasy and to see her in person just 5 feet from me left me paralyzed from the waist up. The waist down is a different story but man, the woman is hotter in person. One of the hottest specimens I’ve ever seen in my life. Anyway, we made eye contact and I think we fell in love for one quick second. However, circumstances and security guards put an end to our brief moment. So Cindy, if by chance you are reading this, I just want you to know that you made a dream of mine come true Saturday night and it’s only fitting that I repay you and make all your dreams come true as well. Call me.

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