I’m not sure why I keep posting pictures of this Selena Gomez chick, I mean she’s cute and all, but she’s far too wholesome for my taste. I prefer a woman who knows what the inside of a strip club looks like, someone who has their own hangover cure, someone who feels that wearing panties is only a suggestion, someone who knows what it’s like to get punched in the face by a drunken prostitute… For some reason I don’t think Selena fits that description. Don’t worry, if I ever need a date to the county fair I’ll be sure to give you a call princess. I wonder if Mercedes is out of prison yet?

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Photos: WENN.com