I’m beginning to think that my internet love affair with Kelly Brook has been a little one sided. I post pictures of her and write mildly humorous comments about our genitals meeting sometime and all she does is completely ignore every attempt I make to contact her. What a rip off. Romance is a two way street my dear. I think it’s about time I get something in return other than an awkward semi erection at the office. These pictures are a good start, but I need something with a little more feeling… Like a shot holding a can of tuna sent directly to me on Twitter. That’s all.