I’m so disappointed in Jessica Alba right now, I can hardly look at her. When you’re a celebrity and you have an ass like she does, you have a serious responsibility to the rest of the world. It’s right up there with the UN. So I don’t what Jessica’s trying to pull with these saggy mom pants, but it needs to stop. Somebody get this woman into a pair of skintight leggings stat. The fate of our nether regions depend on it.

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