Because I’m guessing your porn addiction hasn’t gotten to the point where you book time off work to head down to a porn convention, here’s what you missed out on from this year’s Exxxotica Expo: a ton of porn stars showing off a bunch of cleavage. But don’t worry, there’s always next year. Just tell your boss you’re taking a few days off to do a charity mission, and as long as you find some chick named Charity to sign your underwear, you won’t even be lying. It’s a foolproof plan.

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