If I ran a fashion show, I’d never invite Salma Hayek, because how’s anybody supposed to keep their eyes on the runway with funbags like that around? Anyway, I know Salma’s getting up there these days, so thank God for that cleavage, because her face is looking pretty tired. I think Salma ought to go for a jog or something, watching those things bounce always seems to perk me up. Hey, it’s worth a try at least. Just make sure to bring a camera crew along, you know, for posterity or whatever.