Watch what appears to be a wasted Shia Labeouf spit out some lines. It will be only a matter of time someone puts music over this.
- Charlie Riina Is The Hottest Girl I've Ever Seen In My Entire Life!
- Julia Pereira Is The Most Beautiful Girl In the World
- The Greatest Viral Video Of All-time!
- Sarah Stephens Just Blew My Mind
- Lindsay Hancock In The Sexiest Selfie Prank Video Of All-time
- Luci Ford Just Won The Super Bowl
- Helen Flanagan Does Miley Cyrus
- Check Out Vanessa Hudgens' Busty Friend In A Bikini!
- Aly Michalka And AJ Michalka Is My New Fantasy
OK, so I know I compared Mariah Carey to a beached dolphin and everything last week, but who cares? I’m perfectly fine with being called a hypocrite. Because after seeing these shots of a teddy bear getting to go face first into Mariah’s meaty cleavage at the airport, I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous. Oh well. Here’s hoping that lucky bastard’s equipped with a nanny cam, so we at least get to share the view.
I know I’ve been making fun of Gigi Hadid for not having a real job lately, but according to my sources, the professional Instagram model/socialite is actually working in these pictures. Apparently she’s filming a music video for a Calvin Harris song. But if you ask me, it’s just not fair. Because I’m always trying to get hotties like Gigi to show up for my videos, and it never works. I guess it helps to be an internationally famous recording artist. And to be wearing pants. Go figure.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume that most of you probably don’t subscribe to Denmark’s COVER Magazine. So chances are, you might’ve missed this seriously hot photoshoot from our #1 favorite hottie Nina Agdal for their July issue. But not to worry,I’ve got you covered. Because I never miss a Nina bikini picture. I’m a very dedicated
pervert journalist. You’re welcome.
Because it’s my job to introduce you degenerates to new models for you all to drool over, I want you to meet Amanda Gullickson. According to my research, she got famous from being on some modeling competition show called The Face. But after these bikini pictures, I think she would’ve been better off doing a show called The Body. And if that doesn’t exist yet, it should. Because a bikini body as good as Amanda’s would be must-see TV.
If I didn’t already have a major crush on Anna Herrin, this video the hot model posted to Instagram of her dancing in a bikini and a captain’s hat (and accidentally breaking things) definitely would’ve done the trick. And it’s a good thing it loops automatically too, because otherwise, I would’ve sprained my wrist from clicking play about a million times. Enjoy.
My favorite 24-year-old cougar Samantha Hoopes showed up to the Magic Mike XXL premiere dropping some seriously XXL cleavage. And who cares how old she is, I’ve been really impressed by this SI Swimsuit hottie lately. In fact, this should be a lesson to hotties everywhere: when it comes to age, the number doesn’t matter, as long as you show enough skin to make me forget how to count. Or formulate complete sentences. Mission accomplished.
Here’s Amber Heard at the Magic Mike XXL premiere in LA, and you know, we haven’t seen much of Amber ever since she got hitched to that lucky bastard Johnny Depp. Which is weird, because I thought marrying a movie star was supposed to help her career. Guess not. But the good news is it’s not too late for Amber to turn things around, and divorce him for a pasty blogger who lives in his mom’s basement. I’m telling you, that’s guaranteed to get her more attention. Frankly, I’m a little surprised her agent hasn’t already called me. But better late than never, I guess.
I probably don’t need to tell you guys the bad news, that our favorite TV hottie Sofia Vergara is still dating that Joe Manganiello meathead, and that’s why she’s here looking white hot at the world premiere of his new movie Magic Mike XXL. And I know it’s gonna be tough for a pasty blogger like me to compete with a fake male stripper, but here’s hoping Sofia’s looking for someone with a more wholesome job to take home to mom and dad. You know, like a guy who gets paid to write about motorboating hot models on the Internet. Fingers crossed!
Like I said the other day, I may not think Charlotte McKinney is a real model (at least not compared to professional hotties like Nina Agdal or Xenia Deli). But as long as she’s in a bikini, I’m definitely not complaining. So enjoy the busty blonde’s latest shoot for Men’s Health. I don’t know about you guys, but me and the Little Tuna are feeling much healthier already. Yow.