In case any of you guys are wondering what to get your favorite bikini blogger this Valentine’s Day, here’s a hint: I just found a new Russian hottie in Reshetova Anastasia and I’m 99% sure I’m in love. My palms are all sweaty, my heart’s racing and my pants are overheating. If that’s not love, then I guess I don’t know what is. Anyway, I don’t know what the shipping and handling is on a mail-order bride, but if you guys all chip in, I bet we could afford it.
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- Sara Malakul Lane's Super Hot Lingerie Video
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First off, I want to apologize to all the nerds out there. I know I haven’t done a post on Emma Watson for you guys in a while. So here she is doing a photoshoot for the March issue of Elle. And second, if Emma ever wants to become a real A-lister instead of just “that Harry Potter chick,” she’s going to have to do a lot better than these lame pictures. It’s time for a bikini vacation with the paps, or joining Snapchat.
Since I’m such a good guy (stop laughing, I haven’t gotten to the jokes yet), I figured I’d get my loyal readers something nice for Valentine’s Day: like this brand-new set of bikini pictures from supermodel/total pants fire Josephine Skriver. And actually, if you’re ever stuck for a present, this works for pretty much every occasion, birthdays, Christmas, housewarming parties. So enjoy, and you’re welcome.
Bryana Holly is easily one of my favorite professional Instagram hotties, and with photoshoots like this, it’s not hard to figure out why. So I was psyched to come across this romance-themed shoot from the busty blonde. Because seeing pictures of Bryana in lingerie was exactly what I wanted for Valentine’s Day. Then again, it’s what I want the other 364 days of the year too…
According to this latest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue teaser, Emily DiDonato is going to take us to “a field of dreams” in this video. And I’ve gotta admit, watching Emily roll around topless in some field is pretty close to my actual dreams. There’s only a couple key differences: 1) Emily’s usually joined by a few other SI supermodels, and 2) the whole thing never lasts even close to a 1 minute 44, like it does in this video. We’re talking maybe 30, 45 seconds max.
I guess now that Aaron Rodgers is officially on vacation, it’s time for Olivia Munn to get back to work. And by “work,” I mean posting regular bikini pictures on Instagram. And that’s great news for the rest of us perverts, because it probably means we’ll be getting more pictures like this of Olivia playing beer pong in a swimsuit in some tropical destination. Here’s hoping she moves on to topless tanning next.
I already introduced you guys to Marta Mayer here, but just in case you missed my last post on the busty Russian hottie, you’re not going to want to miss this latest bikini update. Trust me. And I know I’ve been saying how Marta would make a great mail-order bride and all, but actually, now I’m thinking I should fly to wherever she is instead. Because sitting around in swimsuits on a beach all day sounds like way more fun than sitting in sweatpants in my mom’s basement.
I know I usually like to rag on rich kid models and point out how they’re only landing modeling contracts because of their famous parents. But let’s get real here: Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora aren’t exactly A-listers anymore, and Galore Magazine isn’t Vogue. So instead of getting cynical about this latest beach photoshoot from Ava Sambora, let’s just enjoy it for what it is: more pictures of another hot nobody/wannabe in a bikini. And those always work for me.
–Guess whose hot body this belongs to?
–Samantha Busch is one hot piece
–Drew Barrymore is getting old
–Romee Strijd in a sexy sheer bras
–Scarlett Johansson looks like a boy
–Victoria Justice is gorgeous!!
–The Belle Knox bio pic will getyou up
–Kate Upton works it
–Now that’s a crazy booty