Alexis Ren has always been one of my favorite Insta-hotties, so I’ve never going to complain about any excuse to see new pictures of her and that perfect booty of hers squeezed into a swimsuit. But there’s something about those mirrored pictures that are giving me a headache. Maybe my body just can’t handle double the Alexis hotness. That or I drank too much yesterday. Yeah, it’s probably that last one…
I’ve never been much of a foodie, considering my diet mostly consists of day-old pizza I find lying around my mom’s basement. But I know people love to post pictures of their food on Instagram. And after checking out this latest shot from Alexis Ren, I’ve gotta admit that looks damn tasty! Oh, and the food looks OK too, I guess.
I know Alexis Ren isn’t as big of a household name as she should be, considering her Instagram is a pretty much a recipe for an instant pants fire. But the way I see it, as long as I keep doing posts on her and that perfect booty she’s always showing off for the cameras, eventually the rest of the world will finally wake up and realize what me and my readers have known for years: that Alexis is hands down one of the hottest women on Instagram right now. And if Alexis wanted to, say, take me out motorboating as a thank you for all that free promotion, I wouldn’t say no…
See? Now this is why I call Alexis Ren one of the hardest-working Instagram models in show biz. Because while the rest of those hottie wannabes out there are taking weekends off, Alexis is hard at work 24/7. She even figured out a way to squeeze a booty flash into a skate through the parking lot. Now that’s talent!
I’m still waiting for Alexis Ren to send me a thank you
naked selfie “card” for all the coverage I’ve been giving her on the site lately. But I guess she’s been pretty busy, considering she’s one of the hardest-working models on Instagram and all. So I’ll just have to settle for these shots of her posing naked with giant starfish for now. But next time, how about posing with a Little Tuna instead? I really think it could be her best photoshoot yet.
I don’t like to go too many days without
creeping on checking back in on my favorite Instagram hotties, and it’s been at least a week since I’ve given you guys any new updates on Alexis Ren. So I figured I’d take a look to see what she’s been up to lately, and good news! It’s the same thing she’s always up to: showing off that perfect body of hers on social media 24/7/365. I don’t call her one of the hardest-working women on Instagram for nothing. Enjoy!
For a while there, I thought I was Alexis Ren‘s #1 fan. I was doing weekly, maybe even daily posts dedicated to her and her booty, talking up how she was my favorite Insta-hottie, even saying how she could be a Victoria’s Secret model someday. But after this latest round of Insta-hotness I realized I got it wrong. Because turns out, nobody loves Alexis like Alexis loves herself. Oh well. I’ll settle for being #2, I guess.
I hope you guys all had a good Easter weekend. Personally, I celebrated the way I always do: by
having a big dinner and good times with family and friends sitting in my mom’s basement creeping hotties’ social media. It’s a treasured, time-honored tradition. And it’s a good thing I didn’t skip out this year, because otherwise I would’ve missed these great shots from my #1 favorite InstaHottie Alexis Ren. So you’re welcome. Happy Easter Alexis Ren Hotness Appreciation Day, everyone.
I know there’s a lot of hot nobodies out there, but I’ve always been impressed by how hard Alexis Ren here works. And if you think I’m being sarcastic, I’m not. Posting booty videos and pictures on social media practically 24/7 takes dedication, perseverance, and a killer body — the three main qualities I admire most in a woman. Well, that and not laughing in my face when I tell them I still live with my mom. Still, three out of four ain’t bad!
I know some of you guys probably think I call Alexis Ren here my favorite Insta-hottie just because I’m trying to score a date with her. And that’s just not true. I’d also settle for a few personalized booty shots sent to my inbox… But until that magical day finally comes, I guess I’ll just have to make do with another round of her pants-melting Instagram shots. It’s tough, but I think I’ll manage.
I wished I got paid to show my hairy butt on Snapchat! As you guys know Snapchat went public which makes it the biggest porn site in the world. Sure they disguise themselves as a social media platform, but reality is, every chick like Alexis Ren shows off their hot little bodies and offers private shows for a fee. Now I know Alexis doesn’t do that, but she does get paid to show her booty in other ways. Anyway, it’s a nice tush and I would eat my dinner off it.
I’m currently having a little trouble deciding whether Alexis Ren is a real model with an A+ Instagram game or just a professional Insta-hottie who does pants-melting bikini photoshoots on the side. So I figured I’d go back through her Instagram to see if I could find anything that might help me figure this thing out… And it didn’t work, but I did find a bunch of great new bikini booty shots. I’d call that a win.
Here’s my new favorite Insta-hottie Alexis Ren back with another pants-melting beach photoshoot. And I just hope Emily Ratajkowski is paying attention here, because I don’t care how many tens of millions of followers you’ve got. Everyone knows that the true measure of success for an Instagram supermodel is how many phone screens you burn out from all the scrolling. And thanks to Alexis, I’m already on my third of the month. Yow!