Here’s one for all you nerds out there: according to my sources, these shots of Amber Heard are from the new Aquaman movie. I’m not sure who she’s playing, because I’m too lazy and I’m not a total loser, but I’m sure you guys will send me hate mail about how I should’ve immediately recognized that’s FishGirl or whoever. Anyway, on the plus side, even if you don’t care about comics, this is still some solid Amber Heard cleavage, so there’s something we all can enjoy.
Ever since Amber Heard went ahead and married that Keith Richards-wannabe weirdo, we haven’t seen her around much anymore. It’s like I always try to tell these young hotties: if you really want to help your career, you don’t date someone more famous than you, like Johnny Depp or Leo, you date someone much less famous. Like, say, a certain pasty blogger. Trust me, that would get real attention. Anyway, the good news is Amber showed up to The Adderall Diaries premiere looking red hot, so I’m guessing she’s going to be single again soon, or she’s trying to revive her career. Either works for me.
Here’s Amber Heard at the Magic Mike XXL premiere in LA, and you know, we haven’t seen much of Amber ever since she got hitched to that lucky bastard Johnny Depp. Which is weird, because I thought marrying a movie star was supposed to help her career. Guess not. But the good news is it’s not too late for Amber to turn things around, and divorce him for a pasty blogger who lives in his mom’s basement. I’m telling you, that’s guaranteed to get her more attention. Frankly, I’m a little surprised her agent hasn’t already called me. But better late than never, I guess.
In case your copy of GQ Russia got held up at customs, not to worry guys, because I’ve got the super-hot photoshoot that Amber Heard did for their December issue for you all. Now, I have no clue what any of this says, but luckily, Amber’s hotness translates in any language. And besides, would you rather read how happy she is with that lucky bastard Johnny Depp, or just drool over more pictures of her in lingerie? I thought so. Enjoy.
I don’t know what Aleim Magazine is, but they managed to get Amber Heard topless. That said, this could now be my new favorite rag. It’s not often that I post Amber because she is too busy hooking up with Johnny Depp, but hopefully that relationship ends soon so that we can have her all to ourselves!
So by now I’m guessing you’ve probably heard the news that uber-hottie Amber Heard is marrying Johnny Depp, which is kind of disappointing, at least until you realize that you have a better chance of getting hit by lightning twice indoors than of hooking up with a hottie like Amber. So really, things haven’t changed all that much for guys like you and me. It just means that we’re going to start seeing Amber showing up to more red carpets in amazing dresses like this from now on, which actually makes it some of the best news we’ve gotten all month. See? There’s always a bright side.
I’m not sure what Amber Heard was doing on Jimmy Kimmel Live, unless it was to promote what a hottie she is. In which case, let’s keep the PR tour going with this nice leg show. Now, to thank me for the free promotion, Amber can dump that loser she’s dating and go out with me instead. I mean, what’s Johnny Depp got that a celebrity blogger doesn’t? Besides everything. That just means I’d appreciate Amber more. In fact, I’m getting ready to appreciate her for a second time right now. See, who said I can’t be romantic?
Today’s extra catch consists of Amber Heard, Jessica Biel, Minka Kelly, Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Leona Lewis, Debbe Dunning, Sarah Hyland, Amanda Fuller, Tiffany Hwang, Michelle Trachtenberg, Maria Menounos, Eva Longoria, Kerry Washington, Brandi Glanville, Robin Givens, Anne V, Alejandra Cata.