I’m still waiting for Dove Cameron to accept my very generous offer to become my personal bikini assistant, but I guess she doesn’t want the job. Even though it comes with a six-figure salary (in old Burger King coupons) and great benefits (including full use of my office gym and all the cameras I set up). Maybe she just wants a better job title? In which case, fine, Dove can be my CBO. My Chief Bikini Officer. That’s a thing, right? It is now. Call me!