Here is Victoria’s Secret model Josephine Skriver working her tongue game on Instagram. Don’t these chicks know that when a dude sees a girl sticking her tongue out like this, the first thing that comes to our minds is “money shot”. That said Josephine would look fantastic with my money shot.
Josephine Skriver is hands down one of my new favorite Victoria’s Secret models, because of pictures just like this, but according to my sources, it’s always been a dream of hers to act in movies. And that’s a real coincidence, because it’s always been a dream of mine to film a sex tape with a smoking hot supermodel. So what do you say, Josephine? I know it’s not a “real” movie, but the way I see it, she’d still get to show off her acting abilities pretending to be into it/me. That’s what you call a win-win, people.
I know fashion photographers try and get creative with their photoshoots to make them stand out from what the Insta-wannabes are doing with their iPhones these days, but I don’t really understand the point of taking a supermodel mega-hottie like Josephine Skriver and then basically camouflaging her in a pile of flowers and giant billowy clothes. So don’t worry, I also included some Instagram shots because I want to make sure you guys still have something worth locking yourself in the office bathroom over. You’re welcome.
I’m still waiting for Josephine Skriver to call and hire me as her personal masseuse, but I guess I got overlooked for the gig because I’m not “professionally trained” or “qualified” and I “just want to put my filthy mitts all over a hot supermodel”. Whatever. Looks like I’ll just have to keep practicing by massaging myself. Luckily, these new Josephine bikini pictures should help in that department… Hang on, I think I’m getting asked to leave this coffee shop for “sticking my hands down my sweatpants.” Prudes.
According to my sources, it’s Presidents’ Day, and I guess that means that most people have the day off. But not me. And not Victoria’s Secret model/professional hottie Josephine Skriver. See, while the rest of you slackers are sleeping in or making brunch plans or whatever, me and Josephine are hard at work bringing you the smoking hot supermodel bikini content that keeps this whole thing running. So enjoy. And you’re welcome, by the way.
I guess Josephine Skriver must be a big football fan, or dating a player or something, because it looks like she got to go to the Super Bowl in Minneapolis on Sunday. And after doing a little research, turns out it was all a big thing for charity, and a few lucky bastards won the chance to go with her. Which is totally unfair! Not only am I a huge Josephine Skriver fan, but I also do tons of work for the underprivileged. Stop laughing. It’s true! I’m always doing posts on unknown hot Insta-wannabes, and if that’s not charity, then I don’t know what is. I demand a recount.
I know it was the Grammys last night, but I’m gonna be honest with you guys: I didn’t watch a single minute of them, because I had way better things to do with my time. Like
creep scroll through Instagram and… yeah, that’s about it. Anyway, basically, what I’m saying is, you’re not going to be seeing any Grammys posts or winners on this site today. Instead, you’ll be seeing something much more important: two supermodel hotties posing naked together. So here’s Josephine Skriver and Jasmine Tookes. You’re welcome.
Man, my high school guidance counselors really screwed me. If I had known that becoming a massage therapist meant I could get paid to put my filthy mitts on a hottie like Josephine Skriver seven days a week, I never would’ve gone into the blogging business. But maybe it’s not too late for a career change. So, where do I apply to become Victoria’s Secret’s in-house masseuse?
Just the other day I was saying that Victoria’s Secret really needs to start promoting some of their newer models, because as hot as Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio are, they’re not going to be around forever. The company needs some new blood. And if you ask me, they should really consider making Josephine Skriver their next big star. I mean, she’s got everything you look for in an A-list Victoria’s Secret Angel: a perfect body and… yeah, that’s pretty much it. But come on. How much more do you really need?
Maybe the worst thing about the modeling business these days is somehow we went from real supermodels doing real photoshoots to fake Instagram models doing fake “candid” photoshoots. But you want to know the best thing about that? It means that real supermodels like Josephine Skriver now have to do those phony Instagram shoots too. Which means more super-hot selfies from one of the hottest women in the business. That’s called a silver lining, folks. Enjoy.
I know I post a lot of Instagram wannabes and professional Snapchatters on this site, but unfortunately, that’s just the sorry state of the modeling business these days. That said, every once in a while I like to remind you all what a real supermodel looks like, so here’s Josephine Skriver doing a legit lingerie photoshoot for Victoria’s Secret. Now there’s a real pro.
Apparently now it’s Josephine Skriver‘s turn to show just how hot she can look wearing a cowboy hat and not much else, and I’m happy to report the answer is “Extremely.” I don’t know why Victoria’s Secret decided on a Western theme for these latest photoshoots, but honestly, as long as they’ve got hot supermodels in lingerie, they could do a dumpster diving theme for all I care.