I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for all you perverts out there. Looks like Madison Beer is putting her promising career as a professional hot nobody on hold to try to make a go of it as a real model. Because here’s her latest photoshoot for something called Schon Magazine, and all I see is a bunch of fake-artsy shots and way too many layers of clothing. There’s barely even any cleavage. Anyway, let’s hope Madison comes to her senses soon, because I’m sure she’d make an OK model, but if she sticks to the sexy selfie thing, I’m telling you, she has the potential to be one of the best of all-time.
I’m not too religious, so me and the Little Tuna don’t really have a problem with this giant Jesus sweatshirt that Madison Beer‘s rocking in her leggy photoshoot for Wonderland‘s Summer issue. But if you do, just think of it this way: if the Good Lord didn’t want you doing what you’re thinking of doing, He wouldn’t have created locks on bathroom doors. Or Madison’s perfect cleavage. But what do I know? I’m a professional T&A blogger; I’m going to Hell anyway.
I always knew Madison Beer was going to be a big star (the Little Tuna’s never wrong when it comes to these things), but even I’m a little surprised she’s blowing up this big this fast. Here she is with her very own busty covershoot for Cosmopolitan. And sure, it’s just the Turkey edition, not the US one, but with pictures this good, I predict we’re going to be seeing Madison everywhere pretty soon. Or at least, I sure hope so.
Madison Beer‘s only been 18 for a couple months now, but she’s already a major hottie. And I guess we shouldn’t be too surprised considering all that time she spent practicing her selfie game as a teenage troublemaker. Still, I didn’t expect her to be this much of a pants fire this fast. At this rate, I’m going to burn through my entire sweatpants collection before the end of the year. And it’ll be totally worth it. Yow!
I know Madison Beer only turned 18 like a month ago (well, technically 46 days, but who’s counting?), but she’s already a total pro at this whole hot nobody thing, wearing see-through tops to Coachella and showing off that sexy stomach of hers. And I’ve got to say, I’m impressed. If she can keep this up, she’s a lock for Tuna Rookie of the Year. And I’m going to need to buy another pack of Costco sweatpants. Yow.
According to my sources, these shots of Madison Beer wearing nothing but a bathrobe were taken for Vogue Germany, and not as part of some kind of special surprise present for her favorite blogger. But I guess it doesn’t really matter. Because either way, I plan on celebrating by locking myself in this Starbucks bathroom for 30-45 seconds. Enjoy!
Maybe you guys can help explain this to me, because I must’ve looked at these pictures 15 times now and I still can’t figure it. Here’s what I’ve got so far: former teenage troublemaker Madison Beer did a cover shoot for something called Nude Magazine, only as far as I can tell, she didn’t get naked in a single picture. I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure that’s false advertising.
Good news, my
fellow perverts loyal readers: turns out Madison Beer turned 18 a few weeks back, which means she’s not big trouble anymore. And more importantly, that you can start following her on Snapchat without worrying about the cops showing up. And trust me, with updates like this, you’re not going to want to miss another day. Enjoy.
I know you guys probably have a tough time keeping track of all the up-and-coming hotties out there, so consider this your weekly reminder that Madison Beer here is still big trouble for another few months (two to be exact, but who’s counting?). Anyway, I don’t know where her parents are, or how these paps aren’t getting visited by Chris Hansen for creeping on a 17-year-old at the beach, but I recommend we all just move it along. Nothing to see here (until March).
I know I’m probably the least-qualified person alive to be giving anyone parenting advice, but I was looking at these pictures of Madison Beer at the beach, and I honestly don’t understand who lets their 17-year-old daughter wear a bikini like this. (That’s right perverts, Madison’s still 17 for another few months.) Or who lets their daughter do a fake “candid” beach photoshoot with the paps before she turns 18. Won’t somebody think of
the children my readers? I don’t want any of you perverts getting in trouble here.
I don’t want any of my loyal readers getting into trouble (mostly because I don’t think you’re allowed to use the Internet from prison), so here’s a reminder that Madison Beer is still serious trouble for another few months. Which means you’re going to want to take a page from Madison here and just keep it moving. Next!
I know it’s been a couple months since I last did a post on Madison Beer, but I just double-checked and turns out, it’s still going to be another couple months until this teenage troublemaker turns 18. So you’re going to want to just move it along until then. But check back in again in 2017.
Somebody better warn this dude that Madison Beer is serious trouble, because I’m no legal expert, but I’m pretty sure a guy could get locked up for taking selfies with the teenage troublemaker if he’s not careful… In fact, we should all probably just move it along, just to be safe. I don’t want to be considered an accessory or anything.